Forget Me Not
by callmejharls
Summary: What happens when Joker's smitten kitten doesn't remember him? An experiment of Scarecrow's renders Harley forgetful. Mistah J will stop at nothing to get her back. (Rated M for lemons and some abuse/violence)
1. Date Night

"You got all dressed up for me, Puddin'?" She quealed, as he stepped out of the magenta ride, in a suit as white as his bleached skin, his golden bowtie and green hair glistening under the dim streetlights.

"Anything for you, Sugar." He winked at her and stretched his arm out to help her into the car, not that she needed it.

Harley sat shotgun, and bounced excitedly as J rounded the car and leaped lightly into the drivers' seat. Harley loved date night. Especially anniversary date night. J rarely made time for just the two of them. She felt lucky if he would even let her join him on his heists and robberies, and even then, a whole squad accompanied them. Just then she noticed something different, and tried to yell over the suddenly roaring engine.

"Where's your driver tonight, Mistah J?" Her eyes searched his ever-smiling face. They hardly went anywhere without a driver these days, with Batsy out in full force. They also hardly ever drove the flashy lamborghini, because J didn't like to draw attention to himself while he drove to and from business. A car this extravagant was easy to trace.

"There's no driver tonight Harls, because I wanted to show you how crazzzzy you drive me!" And he spun out the car in an empty intersection, his laughter ringing in her ears and piercing even the screech of the tires. Harley gasped, surprised, but joined in the laughter when the continued down the strip. Thier laughter mixed like two wild melodies in the quiet evening.

"Wait, but what about Batsy?" Harley asked, suddenly apprehensive. The last time her and J took a joy ride the Bat had caught them, caused them to crash into the river, and he had hauled Harley's ass back to Arkam. But that's another story.

"Oh, he's quite busy tonight, baby. Don't worry your pretty pink head about him. Tonight it's just you and Daddy." He reassured her. She giggled and grinned that cute devilish grin that lured him in all those months ago, she loved when he referred to himself as ' _Daddy_ '.

Harley was so elated to have the promise of a full night with J, she couldn't help herself.

"Speed up, Pud, I wanna fly!" She clicked the roof window button, and artfully positioned herself halfway out of the car. Mad happy howls sprang from her lungs and she raised her arms over her head, as if she had just stuck a routine landing at the olympics and was receiving applause.

But her feet were in the way of the gear shift, and J became irritable. "Dammit girl! I can't drive with your legs everywhere!" He growled up at her. She looked down, in a dreamlike state, and said "Whaa?" Then her eyes flashed in realisation. "Oh! Sorry Puddin!" Giggling, she tried to move them out of the way, but this just positioned her ass near his face. This, he didn't seem as irritated with. The Joker let out a growl, and playfully slapped her sparkling clad cheek. Harley yelped and wiggled a little, teasing him. "That'ssss more like it!" He drawled out slowly, licking the scarred corner of his mouth. "Again! Again!" She yelled, looking down at her beaming prince, her arms still in the air, like a wicked winged demon. That's one of the other draws that J so appreciated about Harley: she is always up for a little pain, craved it even. He answered her pleas with a harder smack, swerving to just miss a lone, oncoming taxi. The car jerked unnaturally and Harley flew sideways, almost tumbling out of the vehicle, but J slammed on the brakes and he crashed back in through the rooftop window, her back hitting the dashboard. The strange position she ended up in caused both of them to laugh maniacally, and J sped up.

It was when the city lights became scarcer and scarcer that Harley began to wonder just where they were going. This wasn't the way to their club or usual hideouts.

"Don't you start asking where we're going, sweetheart. It's a surprissssse!" He must have noticed she was becoming curious. "Aw!" She pouted, and pressed her face against the window childishly, her eyes scanning back and forth quickly, trying to catch up with the speed of the car.

"Just one hint Puddin'? Puuuuhlease?" she asked, turning back towards him, batting her heavily makeupped eyelashes. J gave her the sly grin he gave her whenever she said please. When she said please it always reminded him of their chemical wedding, when she so willingly asked him to _please_ make her his… Her complete and final surrender to him.

"Well… why did the Batsy get his hands on you when we crashed into the river last time, Harls?"

He said, a tad bitter. He still regretted his recklessness and how it had almost cost him more than he thought he could lose. He knew somewhere in his heart that he blamed himself for Harley's capture that night, but he would never admit to it. Harley had to know when it came to life and death situations that it was dog eat dog with them… But was it? All the effprt it took to get her back… Maybe he would be more careful to watch her from now on.

Harley scowled at the question. She was still sore from that experience. "He caught me because _someone_ ditched me in a fucking sinking car!" Her cheeks blushed angrily under her bone white skin. The Joker grit his teeth, frustrated that she had misunderstood what he had been hinting at.

He imitated a game show buzzer, "Eeeeeeeernt! Wrong! You got caught by Bats because _someone_ can't swim." He laughed hysterically after saying this, and nudged his pouting girl. "Cmon! Daddy's sorry he left you, hm?" He looked at her with his most sincere stare, "I'll make it up to you tonight Harls, promise." Her heart fluttered, but she knew it would go to his head if she let him off that easily, so she sat up straight in her seat and crossed her arms like a whiny kid. "You bettah." That Jersey accent weighing heavily on her tongue. Mr. J chuckled, she could be so adorable and annoying.

"We're here, honey." He says as they pull over on a shoulder of the road. Harley looked outside, only to see they had parked on the biggest bridge in the city. "What are we doing here Puddin'?" She asked, a bit nervous. He enjoyed keeping her guessing, and she was so easily amused. Jokes leaped out of the car giddily, and peeled off the white jacket in a jerky, desperate motion. He wheeled around the car hood and opened Harleys door for her. She "oo-la-la-ed" at his old fashioned habit, and stepped out of the car to stand next to him.

"Daddy's going to teach his little girl how to swim."

"Don't look so scared, Harls! Where's your sense of sport?" He laughed, wickedly, taking her trembling hand and leading her to the bridge railing. Her mind flashed to the first time she teetered on a ledge with Mr. J. Tonight was the anniversary of Dr. Quinzel's death, and the birth of Harley Quinn. This memory reminded her how far she had come, how brave and free her love had made her. "Let's do it!" She almost lunged over the railing on her own, but J's arms wrapped around her. "Easy, baby, this time we fall together." His voice was husky and his smile was loving, a rare expression of his, belonging only to her.

"Oh, Puddin'." She breathed, her eyes welling up with happy tears. _Jesus christ she could be so_ soft _sometimes._ He thought. He wanted to hear her scream.

He swung her into his arms, honeymoon style.

"You want this?" She asked, repeating his words from their first plunge. He chuckled at this and said, "Careful Dr. Quin-zellll… I might fall-" And they toppled over the side in mock pretence "- In _love!_ "

Harley shrieked in terror and glee as the air rushed passed them incredibly fast. The wind rushed past her ears furiously but she could still make out J's laughter as it fell away from them.

"HOLD ON TIGHT, HARLS! WE'RE COMIN' IN HOT!" Flames and sparks lit up the abyss above the falling two. "I can always count on you to lighten things up Mistah J!" Laughed Harley, knowing he had just lit some kind of explosive. Sparks hissed against the water as they splashed into the freezing river.

Harley was jostled from J's embrace on impact and reached around blindly in the dark water, and she felt herself sinking. At Least… She thought she was sinking. She was unsure which way was up or down, until she opened her eyes and could make out the dull twinkle of fireworks above her. It was slowly blurring and fading. She began to panic, reaching her arms up to the disappearing lights.

Jokes came up choking, due to the fact that he had entered the water laughing hysterically. He splashed around playfully, still laughing through his sputters. "What's wrong baby? Catfish got your tongue?" The remaining sparks hissed and silenced against the water. He swam in darkness, obliviously singing to himself. Then, a sudden panic hit him, and he looked down into the depths below him. He had hoped she would have figured out swimming was just moving your legs and arms… But she was clearly not catching on. "Shit. Stupid!" He cursed to himself. He dove down.

" _Stop please!" Her voice sounded strange and unfamiliar, like when she worked at Arkam and she was hiding her Jersey accent._

 _Pain rocked through her. She was being shocked. She liked it, and she couldn't understand why she was hearing herself protest. Was this a memory? She was watching herself, so it must be. She was strapped down to the table, bright lights were surrounding her, she still had her glasses on, and she was shaking. Definately a memory._

" _I just want to die…" She watched herself breathe weakly after the doctor removed the shocking device from her temple. "Please... " The doctor wasn't J. She wished it was J. It would be more exciting if it were him… less painful. "Miss Q, you know we can't kill you. We are teaching you that you have no power here." He had a nasally voice, and she wracked her brain trying to figure out which doctor this was. She couldn't remember. A large plastic tube was shoved down her throat and she felt herself gag. "You think you can kill yourself here? Slowly starve yourself?" His voice was calm yet angry, it frustrated her. It was nothing like J's rambling excited voice. "I say when and if you die. Me." Tears left her eyes as food was forced into her. She just wanted J…_

The joker came up for air, his mask dripping down his face messily. He was empty handed. "Harley, you stupid bitch! Swimming isn't that difficult!" He punched at the water angily. He wasn't mad at her really… He shouldered the blame and inwardly cursed himself for his carelessness. He had just been having too much _fun,_ what with the fireworks and his little doctor clinging to him… He knew he had let her down. He had told her he would teach her to swim. She trusted him, and he would never understand why.

The joker was about to get out and just call for one of his men to bring a boat so they could drag the river, when he spots a little bleached head resurfacing.

"Harley!" He growled, and swam to her a bit wildly. "Harls, dammit. Wake up!" He slapped her cold porcelain cheeks. Her makeup streaked face puckered and she whimpered, and he breathed a sigh of relief at the sight, knowing she was at least alive. He hooked one arm around her securely and pulled her with him as he swam to shore.

 _Harley felt like she was back in her body, and not an outside observer anymore. But nothing made sense. She was on the floor of her cell._ I need to get up, _she thought. But her legs were shaky and she was sweating. She recognized this feeling as a withdrawal of some kind. She had never believed that the Asylum mistreated their patients so, until she became a prisoner herself. They had given her meds inconsistently, causing her mental state to get even more fucked up than it had been. They eventually stopped shock treating her, when it proved to have no effect. Much unlike her first shock experience, she learned to relish the pain, and she openly asked for more. She would laugh and scream when they threatened her with it, because these threats triggered her hallucinations, and she saw her tormentors as the crowned prince of pain himself. She had completely flown the coop, and she knew it. Voices haunted her ears, only heavy doses of medication dulled them. Her identity as a professional Dr. of science deteriorated and a more youthful and impulsive personality ruled her. She thanked the Joker for setting her free. Someone was trying to sober her up, she could feel the cold water on her face… the yelling… was it real? She hugged her knees and snuggled further into the corner of her cold cell._

" _Jesus just let me rest… can't a girl detox in peace?" Something whacked her in the back. "Ow!" She yelped, swatting back. Then she felt a rush in her head and looked around her cell, panicked. The walls were collapsing in on her. "Mistah J! J! Please… Puddin'.." She whimpered. Then everything was dark._

He couldn't help but chuckle when she had taken a swing at him. He had just hit her back a few times trying to get her to spit up the water she had inhaled. She was always feisty, even when she was passed out. "Baby, daddy's sorry, he didn't mean to yell. He was just worried." He cradled her to him, but she felt all wrong suddenly. A few moments ago she had been shivering and angrily muttering as he tried to wake her. Now she went completely limp, and cold. Something was really wrong. "Harley. Baby?" His chest felt tight and he cursed himself for not bringing a driver. They would need help. How could he be so stupid? Time to act. He got up with her still cradled against his chest. As he walked, he put his ear by her nose, listening and waiting for air. She was breathing very slow and shallow. Also not a good sign, but better than no breathing. "Wake up for me, Harley… It's J… Please…" He wasn't one to beg. But he had lost her too many times and he figured asking couldn't hurt his chances. But his desperation turned back into anger when her breathing hitched and stopped completely. "For fucks sake! I SAID WAKE UP!" Two feet from the car he set her down and started doing CPR.

 _She was alone. There wasn't anything. Not even a cage surrounding her. Just pitch black and deafening silence._

" _Hello?" Her voice squeaked._

 _Nothing. The silence screamed at her._

 _She moved forward, searching for a light source, but all that stretched before her now fast moving feet was nothingness._

" _Help me!"_

" _Can anybody hear me?"_

"You're alone." _The darkness said._

 _Panic crushed her chest. She couldn't breathe._

Filthy river water gushed from her mouth after the fourth set of CPR.

"Finally.." Hissed the dripping clown. He left unconscious gasping Harley on the pavement where he had set her, to open the car door so he could put her inside. He quickly dialed a number.

"We're coming home. Have that doctor we hired last time come over. Now." He demanded, in a "I am the boss" tone of voice that he liked to use on his minions.

Picking up the limp and whimpering Harley, he tried to calm down by whispering to her. "You'll just ride shotgun okay? I know the back is comfier but i can't reach you back there…" He knew how soft he sounded, but no one was around. There was no one to impress or make a point to. He got in the driver's seat after loading her in. He pedalled to the metal, and in an urgent jolt, the car lurched to its highest speed. He was moving as fast as they had earlier, but this time was menacing… God help anyone who might get in the way.

Harley's head fell into his lap on a sharp turn, and he let her stay there, even while it was difficult to shift gears. He wanted her close, where he could keep tabs on her. Her pink and blue hair fell over her face and he gently moved it out of the way and tucked it behind her ear. This simple gesture seemed to cause her to stir, yet a freaking punch in the back hadn't.. She whimpered and stretched, her arms almost hitting Joker in the face, and she moaned a little. "Harls?" He asked, glancing at her attentively, his eyes flashing as he looked to the road to her and to the road again. Confusion contorted her face and she blinked up at the man of her dreams blindly.

"Who are you?" She asked.


	2. What's up, Doc?

"Harls, it's me." He laughed, sure she was trying to pull one over on him, "Your worst nightmare!" He laughed again, but this time with a nervous bit of vigor.

But she just stared at him blankly. His eyes grew wide for a fraction of a second, before his brow furrowed and he looked annoyed. He wasn't in the mood to play any games. Not after the nuisance of fishing her out by her pigtails minutes ago. But he held his patience. "Okay, very cute Dr. Quinzel, now let's go inside." He had parked the car outside of the penthouse, hoping no one would notice it. He wasn't too worried though, because all of the neighbors were people who worked for him one way or the other, and wouldn't rat on him if they valued their existence.

She had been strewn about his lap lazily, so he tried to scoop her up and whisk her inside, but she scrambled from his reach and draped her arms about herself, shivering against the black car windowpane, her clothes dripping still.

"I'm not going anywhere wit' ya until ya tell me what the hell is happening." Her voice shook, like it had in the beginning, when she hadn't fully surrendered to her true calling. J found a wave of uncertainty about her that he hadn't felt since the first therapy session in which they met… ever since they left Arkam he had felt completely confident in the fact that Harley would never betray him, or be _too_ afraid of him to the point of exposing him. No… This was new. She looked at him like a beaten puppy might look at their abuser, something that he didn't mind comparing his scummy victims too, but seeing _her_ genuinely frightened gave him a kind of pause. He leaned forward, his hands up as if to show her he didn't mean her any harm (for once). "I said stop it clownboy! What're ya deaf?" She was trying to open the door but it was locked, and she was too freaked out to figure out where the unlock button was. The "clownboy" remark made him smirk and he tried to compose himself.

"Harls, listen to me. It's not safe- Just let me take you inside." He reached for her slowly. "You're obviously off your rocker… I mean… More than usual." She threw him a daggering look as she continued to fumble with the switches and handle on the door.

A little irritated now, that she wasn't listening, J rushed at her and grabbed her hands, pinning them behind her back. He pressed his free hand against her head, just enough to push it to the outwardly dripping windowpane and keep her there. "You do as I say. Got it?" She looked back at him sideways, her eyes wide in… shock? Or something worse? He felt the need to explain.

"I don't know what's happening either. One moment we were having the time of our- nevermind." He seemed annoyed at himself for getting sidetracked. "I think you've lost some memory. And I want to help you." Her face changed a bit when he said that. Did she understand? Did she remember?

"O-okay. I'll let you help me.."

She didn't say puddin at the end of that sentence, and the absence of it pricked him a bit. He shook it off and picked her up. "Good girl. Let's go inside."

She didn't put up a fight when he rounded the car, opened her door and picked her up. It was the same way he had held her when they had jumped from the bridge. That felt like days ago now…

"Johnny! Johnny!" He hollered into the quiet penthouse. Harley flinched in his arms at the sound of his voice piercing the silence so urgently. He put a white tattooed hand over her ear that wasn't pressed to his chest before yelling again.

"Johnathan, you slow bastard!" Usually he had better lines, but he just didn't feel in the mood this evening. "Ah, there you are. Where the fuck have you be- ah! Nevermind. Help me get her to our room." Johnny, a big man, was descending the stairs, looking apologetic. But he knew not to bother Joke with an explanation or excuse for his delay (which is why he had been hired so long).

Harley had passed out again, and J didn't want to jostle her too much. He gently passed her to Johnny. "Jesus boss, you act like she's made of ice." He chuckled. It wasn't every day you saw Mr. J be gentle, even if you were his right hand man. "That she is." He forced a smile, then added softly... "My ice princess." He followed Johnny up the stairs and found the doctor they had hired, waiting nervously in the master bedroom.

 _This was a hazy one. There was a shadow near her. A safe one. She reached for it. A plush toy was pushed into her hand. "Here ya go darlin'. Remember me." Said the shadow. She recognized the voice. Her father. "Stay". Her baby voice. "Dad has to go. He loves you." She clutched the plush toy. A kitten? The shadow exited through a dimly lit doorway, the rectangular door sealing her into the darkness as it closed._

"Uhm… W-what seems to be the problem Mister Joker?" His voice a tad squeaky. He loosened his jacket collar.

"It's Harley. She can't remember a damned thing." Huffed Joker, taking a seat in the green armchair near the bed where Johnny set Harley.

"Hmm.." The doctor removed his jacket, and itched his chin like he was thinking rather hard. He stepped closer to the bed, examining her.

"She appears to be sopping wet…" He observed out loud. Johnny snorted in the doorway. The Joker smirked at the innuendo and added. "Yes Doc, she often is if I have anything to do with it."

The doctor rolled his eyes, not amused. "Might I ask what you were doing before or when she lost her memory?" He asked, and looked over at The Joker, who was still smirking. "We were jumping from a bridge, Bill… A sort of… tradition, you might say." He ran his hands through his drying hair, already bored. Doctor Bill swallowed, he knew he had to try not to sound too judgmental and only ask what was necessary so as not to upset Mr. J.

"Might miss Quinn have injured her head on impact?" He inquired, strictly business. It still earned him a glare from the Jokers side of the room.

"No. She was in my arms when we went under." He worked on keeping his smile on his face.

"Did she lose consciousness under water?"

"Yes. I found her floating…" He cleared his throat. The image of her, face-down in the dark water flashed behind his eyes. _Your fault.._

"Did you perform CPR?" _Her lips on yours.._

"Yes."

"Did she respond." _Who are you?_

"Yes! She's breathing here and now isn't she?!" He stood up in a haze of wet purple and slicked his hair back repeatedly. His temper surpassed his will to speak calmly, and his breathing heightened.

"There's no need to raise your voice, Mr. J. My apologies if I offended you, I just need all the information I can get." He gulped.

"Well get on with it." He barked, busying himself with changing out of his wet suit.

"How long was she out for?" The doctor checked her pulse.

"Five… ten minutes maybe.." J muttered.

J, with fresh pants on, turned back around to see Doc removing Harleys clothes. _Rage._

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, QUACK?" He stormed to the bed, and shoved the quivering man aside.

"I was just trying to- I-I think we should get her into something dryer… She has a high f-fever." He stammered, visibly shaken.

"Let me do that part. I don't like people touching my stuff." Growled Joker, artfully sliding her pretty red dress off of her slender white frame. _My masterpiece._ He really did take credit for making her into the wild thing she was now. He traced his fingers over the little heart she had tattooed on her cheek, gently. _Come back._

 _Cold hands… They were all over her. Soothing, and terrifying. She felt a sensation all over her body, someone was above her. Inside her? The hands gripped her waist tight. Too tight. Just right. There was whispering in her ears. Not unpleasant voices that plagued her nightmares and her retched daydreams… This voice was real. It demanded it be heard. Just like the cold hands demanded to be felt. "Goodbye..." Her head felt thick and foggy. She felt the presence pull from her. She tried to speak to him. "NO DON'T LEAVE ME!" But her mouth only moved, nothing left her lips. And she was alone._

Doc cleared his throat, handing J a shirt and panties to put her in. He grabbed them, stormily and put them on her as carefully as he could. He was worried she would wake up at any minute and scream or cry, not knowing where she was. When he was finished he backed away and stood up, by the bed, still watching her sleeping face. "Well Doc, what's your diagnosis?" Impatience laced his tone of voice.

"Uhm well…" He moved over Harley again, glancing at J as if for permission. Joker nodded stiffly. "There seems to be no head trauma or anything of that sort…" He peeled back one of her eyelides, checking her pupil. "This could possibly be drug induced… I've seen it before." J wracked his brain. They hadn't taken anything before their outing… had she?

"Impossible." Muttered Joker, shaking his head. "She wasn't under the influence."

"Maybe not. But I've seen patients recently with the same kind of memory loss. All have been in the river water. Deep in the water." The Doc assured him.

"Something in the water, eh?" Mr. J chuckled at his own reference. Doc smiled politely.

"Yes, sir. It's quite possible."

"So what's up, Doc?" He asked, annoyed. "What's the cure?"

"Oh, uhm… There isn't one that I know of sir." _unacceptable._

"Fuck!" He turned and punched the wall. His temper was failing him. "Who then?"

"Excuse me, sir?" Doc asked, nervous again.

"IF _YOU_ DON'T KNOW THE CURE THEN _WHO_ DOES KNOW?!"

Harley stirred, her brows knit together in a frown.

He moved closer, almost… He stopped himself. She might not want to see him if she were to wake up…

"T-there is someone who knows who might know…" Said shaking Bill. "But you're not gonna like it."

"Just tell me who the fuck can help." He barked.

"The Batman."


	3. Rise and Shine

**Hello there! I see a lot of readers but not many reviews! If you have suggestions or questions I would so love to hear them. Thank you for checking out my story, it should get better from here on out. Some of that M rated content will follow this chapter, so stay tuned. ;)**

Harley was sore all over, and cold. She stretched, and instantly regretted the movement. "Ouch.." She mumbled into the golden cotton of the pillow case. _Where am I?_ She looked around, warily. The room was lit by a warm fire, shadows danced on the walls.

"Hello?" There was someone on the other side of the room, in a large armchair, facing the fire. She could make out long slender legs, crossed over the arm of the chair. The legs slowly uncrossed, and the figure stood up.

"Harley?" The voice was a man's. Husky and unsure. He walked towards the bed slowly, as if approaching a wild animal that might dash away in fright at any moment. Harley contemplated running when she saw the man fully. His skin was bleached incredibly white. Tattoos littered his body… his hair was the richest green she'd ever seen. He looked… scared. But it was wrong. It didn't fit his face. She had the oddest feeling that he should be smiling.

"Harley…" He stepped forward, now standing at the end of the bed. She could clearly make out his features now. He had ruby lips, and a tattoo on his forehead that read "Damaged".

"Do you know who I am?" He asked, dreading her answer. He could see by the look on her face that she didn't recognize him.

"No…" She answered, sensing his disappointment. She sat up, not breaking eye contact with him. He looked at her with… was it hunger? She wasn't sure.

"What _do_ you remember?" He sat himself on the bed, his legs hanging off the endge, and he twisted to face her. She bit her lip… He was gorgeous.

"I-I remember my mother…" She looked down at the bedspread she was wringing absently with her hands.

"Go on." He encouraged, gently. His hand instinctively reached toward her, without touching her. He let it rest on the bed… His mind flashed to a similar time in one of their sessions when they had touched hands… She can't remember that.

"M-my mother… She was mad at me." Her voice hitched. Was she crying? She wouldn't look up. He was tired of not seeing her face. He lifted her chin with his finger slowly and looked in her eyes. "What for?" He restrained from saying "baby" at the end of the question.

"For making dad leave…" She was trying to stop the sobs but they choked her and broke through her. "Harley… that couldn't have been your fault. You were what?.. Four of five when her left?" He soothed her. Not being able to just hold her was killing him.

 _How did he know that?_ Wondered Harley. "I found him when I was old enough… T-to ask him why he did it." She explained to this odd stranger, who made her feel so comfortable. He was still watching her, waiting for her to continue.

"He told me that my mom and I were too much pressure… that he couldn't support us or some bullshit…" She wiped her eyes and looked at him apologetically.

"I'm so sorry… I don't know what's come over me… I don't even know you." She blubbered. He reached into his pocket and handed her his purple hanky.

"You do know me, actually." He said matter of factly. "You can call me Mr. J."

She cleaned herself up with the hanky and attempted to hand it back to him. He shook his head. "You keep it darlin'. He smiled and she was shocked to see his irregularly large gold and silver capped teeth gleam in the dimness of the room. He noticed her wariness and backed up a bit, closing his mouth. "Your father was a fool. You didn't need him, Harls. You've made something of yourself. Don't blame yourself for his incompetence. Ever." Anger tainted his voice near the end of that rant. _Keep it together, J._

"You and I are friends actually…" He said, and he felt a wave of something cold rush over him when she looked back at him in disbelief.

" _We are?_ "

He forced himself to smile.

"Yes." _Was it that hard to believe?_

"Now, tell Dadd-" He cleared his throat loudly, " _Me_.. Tell me what else you remember."

Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. _So she had caught that._

"N-not much else. My name is Harleen?" She asked, innocently.

J nodded. "Harley for short." He added, and couldn't help but smile, knowing he was the one who had given her the new name.

"Was I… Was I a doctor?" She asked, confused.

He nodded again. "Dr. Harleen Quin-zellll." He almost giggled at the memory of the younger her, but contained himself.

She touched her chin, thinking. "How strange though… I also have memories of being in jail.." She looked up at him, obviously scared of the answer she suspected was coming.

"Well… You weren't like most Doctors baby." He winked at her when he said that, and it made her heart hammer in her chest. Despite the affect he had on her, she couldn't help but wonder what he meant.

"What? Was I bad at my job?" Fear of the possible truth caused her voice to shake and she pulled the blanket to her chest in anxiousness. "I-I didn't hurt people.. Did I?" Her big blue eyes welled up with tears again.

"Shhh shh.. No, you didn't hurt people. You were a shrink. Even helped me out a little." He smiled and hoped he wouldn't consider his answers to be lies if she ever regained her memory. She seemed to calm down a little.

"But where am I? Why am I not at the hospital?" He was waiting for that question, but wasn't prepared to answer it.

"You can't go to the hospital because people are after you." He explained, carefully.

"Why? What did I do?" She asked, still sounding innocent.

 _You fell in love with me._

"You only realized your true calling in life… unfortunately that involved breaking the law." He said this as he laid back on the bed, folding his arms behind his head casually. He talked about her losing her sanity like one might discuss tomorrows weather. She kind of liked that.

She stared at her hands thoughtfully. He closed his eyes, as if to giver her some privacy with her thoughts.

"So... I'm kinda a bad bitch?" She asked this so sincerely that he couldn't contain his laughter and he tilted his head back and let the sound bubble out of him.

She giggled a bit too, not entirely sure if she was in on the joke, but his laughter was so contagious that she couldn't help herself.

The Joker composed himself, and rolled onto his stomach, and supported his weight with his forearms. She looked down at him.

"That you are, Harls." And he winked at her for the second time.

Harley blushed, but then her face changed again.

"If I'm so bad, then why am I trapped here with you?" She asked, saucily.

This earned a from J and he was sitting up and facing her in an instant.

"Oh you're not trapped here. You _choose_ to be with me."

But he could tell she didn't believe him. He felt rage boil in his toes and sneak up through his body.

 _This is what I get for saving her and taking care of her?_ He thought, menacingly.

"So… I could just get up and leave right now, Mistah J?" She asked, tauntingly. _There's the Harley he knows and loves. And goddamn that Jersey accent…_

He barred his teeth. Did she know he would stop her?

"It wouldn't be wise of you to just waltz out of our- _my_ penthouse with no memory and a price on your head, princess." He warned.

She still liked to annoy him, evidently.

"But I would be allowed to?" Again, in a sassy tone, that made him want to do things to her he couldn't admit.

"Hypothetically. Yes." He growled.

"Well! Bye then!" She chimed, and hopped up (a little wobbly at first), heading for the door.

"Stop." He commanded, harshly.

She continued to skip away.

"HARLEY QUINN GODDAMMIT I SAID STOP!"

He was off the bed and pinning her down before she could say "yatzee".

She tried to squirm away from him.

"Getcher hands off me, clownboy!" She hollered, clearly a bit frightened. As she should be.

"Stop your squirming, girl, if you value your life! Jesus you flop like a fish out of water!"

J reached for something in the bedside table drawer, pushing her to the floor with his knees. Then Harley felt cold metal lock to her left hand.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" She was just plain pissed off now.

"SAVING YOUR PRETTY LITTLE ASS FOR THE THOUSANDTH TIME TODAY!" He countered as he hauled her roughly back to the bed.

She yelped when he pulled her by the cuffed wrist, and tossed her back on the bed. She curled up, one arm stretched out above her, because it was cuffed to the bed, the other hugging her half naked body.

J stood there, breathing deep from the little romp. He felt like he sound explain himself.

"You clearly don't know what's best for you. I'm trying to help you, kid."

When she only answered him with silence he sighed and slicked his green hair back with his hands repeatedly.

"I'll tell you what, Harls. If you still want to leave when I get your memory back, you are certainly welcome to."

He got muffled sobs as a response. The cold realization that she might not want him washed through him and his head spun.

"I'm going to find out who did this." He found a shirt from a heap of clothes on the floor and buttoned it quickly.

"I'll come back when I know."

He waited.

"Good riddance." She choked out.

J slammed the door and she heard him yell, before descending the stairs, "JOHNNY! BRING THE CAR AROUND!"


	4. A Dark Night

**Hey everyone! I really appreciate all the feedback, and I took some of your suggestions into account while writing this chapter. Also: fair warning… there are some lemons waiting at the end of the chapter. I'm new to writing that kind of thing so I hope its not complete shit (it might actually be super kinky bye). OH AND! In this chapter you'll get to see Batsy and Scarecrow.**

 **Reminder: I've based this Joker mainly on J Letos version presented in SS. So. Keep that in mind if you feel he is being to 'soft' or whatever. This Joker is head over heels for the Queen of Gotham ;) Okay. Enjoy, and thanks for waiting.**

 **-Mads**

A great light divided the sky. Gotham was quiet. A purple clad man waited on a rooftop.

"Joker?" Asked an unnaturally husky voice, from no particular origin in the darkness. _The Batman._

J swung around playfully, laughing in mock excitement. "Where are ya, Batsy? Come out come out wherever you are!"

There was a thud to J's right and he turned to face the Bat. "Oh! There he his! Wow, this thing really works." He said, gesturing to the Bat Signal.

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything… What _does_ the masked crusader do on a Friday night, I wonder…" J taunted him.

"What do you want, Joker?" Asked Batsy, already irritated by The Joker boisterous attitude.

"Oh we're going to skip the small talk are we?" Laughed J. He leaned against the Bat Signal's steal mount, at ease.

"Well, to put it shortly… The Mrs. and I had a celebration of sorts this evening. But like I'm sure most of your dates turn out… it was a bit of a flop." J made a whistling noise and traced a finger through the air, and then he made a noise that imitated an explosion, and he threw his hands up in the air and laughed menacingly. It was a bit forced though, and Bat noticed the change in him. He knew his age old enemy like he knew the back of his hand.

"Just get to the point, Joke." Husked the Bat.

"Fine, fine. Something in the river has brainwashed Harley… I had a doc of mine check her out, but he told me to ask you."

There was an awkward silence between the two, as Bat processed what was being said.

" _You_ are asking me for help."

The Joker winced at the irony, but laughed casually. "I know I'm not you favorite, Batsy. But Harls has no beef with you… Besides that one time with the shark tank…" He trailed off.

"Maybe you should admit her to a hospital…" Suggested Bat, a little annoyed. "If you care so much about her why don't you let her go. She has the chance to live a normal life now… free and clear of your games… Maybe get her sanity back?" He was pacing around the Joker while he talked, as if he was a bird circling his prey. But his tone was casual, almost amused, as he taunted the clown.

J fisted his hands. "My love for her is no game."

Bat laughed. " _Love!_ You're not capable of love. You're a menace. Your only desire is to wreak havoc apon Gotham and the world. Why should your relationship with a woman be any different than how you treat the rest of us, hm?" He sneered, still circling him.

"Harley _understands_ me. We wreak havoc _together_. And yes… Sometimes, on each other," He paused to wink at the Bat suggestively, "But she is more to me than a henchwoman or any bitch with boobs… I _made_ her. I _freed_ her! No one will ever be like her no matter what lengths I go to in order to recreate her… She's so _alive_ , so _passionate,_ oh- and teachable, they have to be teachable. She lives for me..." He stared at his reflection in the puddle beneath him. He shook his head, realizing he'd blabbered on.

"You sick fuck. You think she wants this, but I bet you she would leave your tacky ass if you gave her the chance… In fact I would bet my fortune that you have her literally tied down somewhere. You _do! Dont You?_ "

Anger overflowed and hissed against the burner inside of J and he lunged for Batman angrily. A roar escaped his lips and he gripped the unsuspecting Bruce by the throat. After taking a few hits from the caped crusader he sobered up from his anger. His laughter echoed in the night, above the rooftops, laughing more and more every time he took a hit. "Hit me! Cmon- hit- OOF! HAHAHAHA OH HAHAHA!" He laughed until Bat was bored of punching a limp giggling punching bag. Blood dripped from J's lips, mixing with his scarlet makeup. He spit between chuckles. "Remind me to ask for your help more often, Batsy. This is a great time!"

Batman turned away, angrily. "You disgust me. I know who messed with the river water. I was just dealing with him before you interrupted me with your love life issues. But there's know whay in hell I'm telling you who it was."

The Joker stood up all wobbly, and he was struck with an idea. _Uhoh Bats, you should have been more careful not to tell me where you've been._ He feigned remorse.

"You really think she would want to leave me?"

The Batman turned around, not believing his ears. Morning light was creeping over the cityscape.

"Yes. She is a human being, Joke. She isn't a pet of yours." His words stung, but J had a part to play.

"She won't understand if I suddenly come back, and send her to a hospital… I already explained to her why she can't go…" Joker looked past the Batman, and to the sunrise, as if he was in deep thought.

"What if…" J caressed his chin and paced. "What if I told you where to go to fetch her… And you told her you defeated me… And she would have shot at losing her charges as a maniac. If they do have to commit her though-" His brow knit together, worriedly. "Make sure they take her somewhere decent?.. Not Arkham or Belle Reiv. Give her someplace she can have pets… or watch cartoons…" His words turned to mutters. Suddenly the part he was playing felt too real. Batman was dumbfounded.

"Yes or no, Bat?" J pushed. His tone a bit tortured. _What's your problem, J?_

The masked man nodded, all business. "Where do I go?"

Joker pulled out a playing card, and a fountain pen (another old fashion trinket of his), and he scribbled the fake address there. Without looking at Batman, he held the card out for him to grab.

"No games?" Asked the Bat, skeptical still.

"Never." And he smiled his best toothy smile.

After the caped crusader had disappeared from sight, J allowed himself a mischievous chuckle. He knew where the Bat kept his sweet ride while he answered signal calls, and he knew that he hadn't taken it to find Harley because he had given him a close enough address to where they were currently.

He found the Batmobile beneath a tarp. It was parked sneakily near some trash bins. The trash bins were the same bins he often left his criminals cuffed to for the GPD to come pick up. J knew because some of his own guys had been left there in the past.

He hopped into the car excited and snickering. He lit the ignition and yelped excitedly when it roared to life. "Ooooooh purr for daddy!" Using the nickname Harls gave him made him wish she were with him right then. She would love this adventure. _Soon._ He thought. _Soon I will have my babydoll back to normal._

He started messing with the GPS as he drove wildly through the quiet city. He hit "select last searched address" on the navigation screen.

"Well. That was easy." He said to himself.

The drive was turning out to be much longer than he had anticipated, so he decided to call Johnny to pass the time. He answered by the third ring.

"Hello, J."

"How is she?"

"Well…She's a bit hysterical actually."

"What? How?" Joker struggled to drive and hold the phone to his ear.

"I can't be sure but I think she was just jumping on the bed moments ago… screaming about how we can't keep her locked up here and that she has rights and that someone is for-fucking-sure looking for her ass-" He could hear loud banging and shouting on the other end of the line.

"Yeah, yeah okay… Well, she needs to calm her tits… Oh her meds, they might help her calm down. I don't usually give them to her but until I'm back it might be best…"

"I'll try Mr. J. She screams bloody-murder if anyone comes into the room, she keeps demanding she talk to you-"

"Jesus H. Christ, she's a little girl, and she's locked to the headboard. Stop being such a pussy. Put the meds in her food, okay?"

"Yes, Mr. J."

The line went dead.

The Joker "arrived at his destination" by about mid-day. The GPS had sent him out of the city and a ways up the river. The address he ended up at was a small riverside farmhouse and barn. He smiled at its quaintness, and got out of the Batmobile whistling "Old Mcdonald". He no sooner took three steps toward the house before he heard an immense "clicking" of weapons being loaded. Heads covered by hayseed sacks popped up around the yard, fully encircling him. He raised his hands halfway up in the air, politely. "Well… I stick out like a tuxedo at a barndance, wouldn'tcha say?" He laughed.

Two of the sack heads looked at each other and exchanged words. They were too far away for The Joker to hear. One of them nodded at the other and the smaller one ran off towards the barn.

"Is he getting Ma and Pa? Cause I gots ta talk to whoever is in charge of this… this… prairie house."

The barn doors opened, and a skinny man, with a cane walked from the barn, and gestured for J to come closer. He complied, waving happily at the poised guards.

"I don't believe it! If it isn't the infamous Joker! What a pleasant surprise." Greeted Scarecrow, in his strange high pitched voice.

"Come, Skvetch! Get a drink for our friend!" The two walked into the barn. On the inside it looked like a mix of a laboratory and a nightclub.

"Well that's more like it!" J said, satisfied.

Scarecrow and J sat down at the bar together.

Scarecrow tilted back a shot, and then looked at J, incredulous. "So J. Tell me how you hijacked that beautiful… Car."

J turned to him, not really in the mood.

"As much as I'd love to brag, I have more _pressing_ matters to discuss with you." He said, in his most gentlemanly tone.

Scarecrow smiled at him, amused, yet wary. He knew what The Joker was capable of. "What is it, friend?" He asked.

"I'm afraid you owe me something."

Scarecrow's eyes narrowed. "We never made a-"

"You're careless experimentation has come to my attention." Barked the Joker, losing his patience.

"Harley… the water…" He was too angry to put a thoughtful sentence together. He smoothed his green hair back and breathed deeply.

Scarecrow chuckled. "Oh, let me guess… Memory loss?"

J stood up, and leaned over the small doctor. "Tell me you can fix her if you value your pathetic little life!"

There was a small clicking sound, and Dr. Crows eyes widened when they caught the gleam of the Jokers razor sharp pocket knife. The fear in him subsided when he realized every gun in the barn was now pointed at his abuser.

"Not the sharpest tool in the shed are ya?" Taunted Dr. Crow.

"I'll show you SHARP!" Sneered J, as he knicked the man's cheeks with the small blade.

Tension tied the air.

"Say the word, boss, and we'll blow him out of his tacky purple suit!" Shouted one of the Crows men.

"That's okay Tony. J, here, is just in mad love." Said Scarecrow, raising an eyebrow at The Joker. "Aren't you?" He added.

J looked a bit flustered. He took a step back from Dr. Crow, smoothing his green hair back.

"I wouldn't know _love_ if it smacked me in the face…" He cleared his throat. "But this is the closest feeling to love that this existence will allow me."

Crow mocked sympathy and patted his back.

"Don't. Touch. Me." Growled J.

Dr. Crow pulled his hand away, chuckling. "Touchy."

The Joker was getting impatient now, he hit his hand on the table by the Dr.'s shot glass.

"WILL YOU FIX HARLEY OR NOT?!"

"Not."

"WHY?"

"I don't have the antidote. Only places that can reverse that shit are the city hospitals and the prisons. I sold it all to them after I poisoned the river. That's why Batman came here and picked it up from me. We made a deal."

 _Bastard. Could I steal it? No… getting men on the inside of those operations takes too long._ He knew from experience. He breathed out, exasperated.

"I know what you're thinking, Bozo." Said Scarecrow, as he popped some pills into his mouth and dabbed at his fresh wounds. "The only way to get your squeeze back to normal is by having her admitted to a hospital or someplace equipped to help her. You don't know anything about that drug or how to administer it without killing the poor girl." He shook his head. "You'll have to get her in there, and this time, there might not be any getting her out." He watched J pace back and forth, along the bar. "You'll need help. There's a price on her head y'know. I have connections with doctors who are on the inside. I'd make sure she was taken care of, if you let me claim the prize money for turning her in."

J hated the idea of trusting this quack with Harley's well being. Did he have a choice?

"Fine."

He stood up, and started walking to the barn door. Then he stopped abruptly. "Oh, I almost forgot!" He rushed at Scarecrow and punched him square in the kisser. Guns raised once more, all aimed in his direction, but Dr. Crow choked out: "Hold your fucking fire!" But J wasn't finished. He clocked him over and over until he felt his point was proven. "If you harm a hair on her head, Dr. Crack, you can consider yourself finished with your practice!" He lifted the small man up by his shirt collar, his feet dangling inches from the ground. "As for the poisoning the river, you must be a stupid son of a bitch to do that kind of shit without my knowledge!" He dropped him to the ground, flicked his calling card at him, and resumed walking to the exit.

"I'll bring her to you on two days." He called over his shoulder. He wanted time with her before she left him again.

"Puddin'?"

The sound of the nickname from her lips sent a charge through him. Was he hearing things? Maybe his mind was playing tricks on him, because he was missing her so badly. It had happened before when she was taken from him… No, this was real. His fantasies could never match the reality of her voice.

He stood in the doorway, unsure. As his eyes adjusted, he saw that she was curled up, like she had been when he left. But this time her back wasn't turned to him. Her blond hair was ratty in her loose pigtails, and her face was tear streaked. He walked towards her slowly. As he got closer to her he saw her wrist, still latched to the headboard, was badly bruised from the cuff. Guilt flooded him for leaving her so long. It had been half the night and the next full day, since he had slammed the door on her.

The sound of her crying concerned J enough that he closed the rest of the distance between him and the bedside.

"Harley?"

She covered her face with her free arm, crying into it. Guilt continued to course through him. He resented the feeling. He wasn't used to it.

"Why?" She whimpered, against the skin of her arm. "Why did you leave me here alone? A-and in the dark…" He small frame was visibly shaking in the darkness. "You know I h-hate the dark, Puddin'."

 _Puddin?_

"Harley… Baby… Do you remember?" There was a tentative note in his voice, that was new to her.

"I can't remember what I did wrong… Why did ya chain me to the bed, Mistah J?" _She knows it's me._

"I-I'm sure I deserve it… I just can't remember what it was I did to ya…" _She's back. My Harley Quinn._

"Baby…" He said, his voice unbelieving, "You couldn't remember me. You wanted to leave me." Her eyes were still overflowing with tears. Her wrist probably hurt. He reached to free her hand, "You don't want to leave Daddy do you?" He asked. Was there genuine sadness in his voice. He freed her hand. Her arms were around his neck as soon as she could move.

"Never." She whimpered. He locked her to him tightly, purring in her ear.

"Oh babygirl… You don't know how I've missed you." He stood up, making her wrap her legs around his waist, if she wanted to stay close to him. And she did.

"I was so scared, Puddin." She said in his neck, between kisses. He closed his eyes at the feeling of her lips on his skin. _So soft._

"It's okay now baby, you're not alone anymore." He her laid back down on the bed and crawled up her body seductively. She bit her lip as she watched him, hunger in her big blue eyes. She reached out and gripped his button up shirt in her little fists. "Stay close to me, Mistah J… _Please._ "

He growled, the sound coming from somewhere deep within him, as he answered her pleas with a rough kiss on her ruby red lips. She moaned on his lips when he pressed his body against hers. She could feel his dick throbbing through his tight trousers. She was still only in her underwear and the large shirt of J's. He ripped the shirt off her, popping all the buttons, without breaking their kiss. Harley gasped for air on his lips as he quickly stripped her of her panties. "Mmm Puddin… I want you…" J leaned his forehead against hers, breathing deeply, his eyelids heavy with lust. "Say it… Say it…" Harley slowly ran her hands from J's neck, down his tattooed stomach, until she reached his pants. J bared his teeth when she undid his pants and whispered in his ear a gentle, " _Pretty please._ "

"Oh now you've done it…" He hissed, freeing himself from the confines of his pants. She reached to touch herself but he grabbed her bruised hand gently. "Forget the rules, Harls?" She moaned, but stretched her hands above her head, gripping the pillow to stay out of his way.

He slid his fingers inside her slowly, and hummed in pleasure at the feel of her. "Hmmm… Eager are we?" He teased, watching her cheeks paint themselves pink under her porcelain skin. "You just get me so revved up, Puddin." She said, breathily. He chuckled at that and moved to kiss her neck. She moaned at the sensation of his wet lips on her and with one thrust of his hips, he was deep inside her. She screamed in pleasure and gripped his muscular arms. She wanted him to _move._ But J appeared to be sweating, and trying to contain himself. Harley noticed.

"Puddin'?" She asked, concern in her voice. It wasn't like him to stop. He looked at her and leaned his forehead to hers, a smile slowly contorting his face.

"Harls… _Fuck_ you're so tight…" He fought the urge to fuck her hard and quick, wanting to relish each moment with her like this. She whimpered as he stretched her, and she locked her legs around his waist tightly. "Harls…" He thrusted into her repetitively, and leaned down to bite her nipple. She pulled at his wild green hair with her white little fists and whimpered.

"Ohh that feels so good Mr. J!" She gasped. "Please… Don't stop... "

"Don't command me!" He barked, and shoved himself deep into her. Holding himself there.

Tears filled her eyes. "I-I'm sorry J… I-" He kissed her deeply, shutting her up.

"Shh Harls, just reminding you." She shook from pleasure when he didn't move.

"Baby, does this feel good? Should I stay still?" He teased. "It-it does feel good Mr. J… B-but please... " She fisted the sheets helplessly.

"Please what? Am I being too nice?" He chuckled as she writhed. She missed the pain of him slamming into her. Just the thought of it made her pussy clench tightly around his cock. "Puddin... "

J held her cheek, looked into her eyes and pulled himself out of her swiftly. Much to his pleasure she whined. "I want you…I want you in me Mistah J." She pouted, her cheeks hot.

"Oh you'll get it, Sugar. Turn around for daddy." She did as she was told, got on her knees and bent her ass up like she knew he loved.

"That's it, baby, remember the rules now. No cumming until daddy says." Harley frowned but nodded. He was silent for a few seconds and Harley began to feel anxious, and she couldn't make him out in the dark. "P-puddin'?" She stuttered, looking back.

"I'm right here baby, calm down. Just getting a toy from your bedside table." She heard a match scratch and flame, then saw her lovers grin illuminated by the glow of a lit candlestick. "Aw Dr. Quinzel you're shaking, have you gone soft on daddy?" She shook her head but her eyes told another story.

"Well well, we will just have to 'warm you up'." He chuckled, and she felt his hand snake around her and then down, between her legs.

"So wet already?" She whined and blushed. "You make me crazy P-pud-" she gasped. "You're crazy without me Harls, that's why I love you.." He whispered gently, and pinched her clit. "Uhhh!" Her hips bucked.

"Tsk, tsk… forgetting the rules baby?" And he smacked her ass hard, and she gasped. "Hold still for daddy... " And something hot dripped onto her back. "Yow!" She cried and squirmed, and then remembered what he had asked her to do, and froze. "Too late pooh." Another slap on the ass, Harley bit her lip hard and tears sparkled in her eyes. "Mistah J…that hurt…" She whimpered.

"I know baby, I'll make it better shhh.." and she felt his dick rub against her ass. "Hold still for daddy and I'll reward you." Hot wax burnt her neck and back and she cried into her arm on the purple comforter but did not move a muscle.

"There's my girl." He cooed, and she felt him fill her. She felt her insides clench and she bit her hand to keep from crying out again, this time in pleasure.

"Don't cum, doc." Growled J, rocking in and out of her, fighting his own urge to release. "But, b-but… I'm so close baby.." Whined Harley, biting her fist again, this time drawing blood. "Don't you dare." Wax scalded her back once more. "J! J!" She squirmed, and even tried to crawl away. Joke gripped her hips and yanked her back to him violently.

"Dammit Harls!" He snarled, and flipped her over roughly. He raised his hand to smack her, but the tears streaming down her face gave him pause. Only this girl could make him think before taking a hit. "I-I'm sorry J.. P-please.. I didn't mean to-" For the second time tonight, he couldn't bring himself to shut her up by means of violence, and he leaned down to kiss her deep. She whimpered, still, in his kiss. "I'm sorry mistah J.." her shaking hands touched his chest.

"Shh, shh Harls Harls…" His hands cupped her wet cheeks.

"It's okay, daddy went too far." He almost looked remorseful.

"I'm not crying because it hurt mistah J." She whimpered, sniffing.

"What is it then, baby?" He asked, almost desperately. "I _hate_ disappointing you J…"

The joker laughed and curled her up into his arms like an infant. "Oh Harls, you never disappoint. I _enjoy_ a little sport here and there." She snuggled her bleached head under his chin, calming down now. "I _want_ you to run." He breathed in her ear.

"It's no fun without a chase, right?" She countered, a bit curt. Joker chuckled.

"Well… Not _as much_ fun." They both laughed, and Harley looked up at him lovingly.

"Chase me anytime, Puddin." But he didn't return her stare. His eye's were on her thighs. There were marks there. Fingernail scratches it looked like.

"Baby… You're doing this?" He traced his fingers over the ripped flesh gently. She nodded. "Because you miss me? Or because you want to feel alive?" He asked, referring to one of their very first discussions on the topic of pain and why it's craved. She watched him trace the marks with his hand, and tried to answer without wincing. "Both Puddin… every lick of pain reminds me of you, you remind me to feel. Without it… I forget. I knew that I knew your face… I knew you were The Joker. B-but I couldn't remember what you meant to me at all today until I hurt my wrist trying to break free from those damned handcuffs." She admitted, sadness in her voice. "So I hurt myself until I remembered you completely… and I waited for you to come back home… I knew you'd come back." Her voice shook. He didn't want to lose her to the tears again, not when they were having so much fun… He didn't know how long this would last. She could forget him any minute now. They sat in heavy silence for a moment before he gently pushed her to lay on her back. Confused, but trusting, she laid down. The candle he had used was melting to a crisp on her nightstand now, and he pinched out the flame.

"But Mistah J-" Harley whimpered, as darkness consumed them again. "I'm here Harls, shh.." He gave her one of his hands to snuggle as he worshipped her slashed up thighs with his lips. "These cuts were for me?" He asked, between kisses. "Y-yes." She answered, trying not to squirm. He was so close to where she really wanted him. "Whatever you need to feel I'm with you, is okay with me Sugar, just leave some of the pain for me, okay?" He requested, in a gentlemanly voice. "You want to hurt m-me?" She tried to ask, her voice thick with lust.

"Really… _really_ bad." Is all he says as he spreads her legs apart to make room for his head between her legs. Her breathing picked up when she realized what he was about to do. _Oh, bliss._ She thought, as his tongue flicked her swollen clit.

"Right there, Pud. Oooh…" Harley gripped the sheets and moaned. The Joker smiled and glanced up at her.

"Feel good, baby?" He asked, a flash in his eye. "Oh yes Mistah J, thank you.." His tongue flicked at her clit until she shook. "Please…" She gasped, her hands finding his hair. "Please make me cum.. Please.." His teeth gently bit her clit and she came crashing down from the peak he had levelled her on.

"Oohhh J! Fuck!" She shook under his touch and eventually calmed to a slow shudder. "Mmmmm.. You're magic, Mistah J." She sighed, recovering. Watching his minx come undone beneath his touches had done things to him that only Harley could help with.

"Harls, please… I can't cum unless I'm inside you." Hearing this, Harley pulled him back up to her level. "Well what are you waiting for, Puddin?" She winked, and kissed him passionately. He didn't need more encouragement than that, and he was in her within seconds.

"Ugh fuck Harls, nothing feels as good as you." Harley locked her legs around him again, hoping to get him closer as he fucked her.

"Harder, daddy… Please!" She gasped, as he pounded into her without abandon, his hair flapping wildly. She had never seen him so desperate before, and it was really getting her going. "Oh J, if you keep this up I'm going to come undone again." He growled in response, and she took that as permission. She felt his grip on her hips tighten and she knew he was close.

"Harls.. Fuck baby.. I'm cumming!" She felt him thrust deep for the last time, his hot seed spilling in her. This sensation sent her over too, and they both lay gasping in the dark room.


	5. The Morning After

The Joker woke up, with his little doctor asleep on his chest as it rose and fell with his breathing. She looked like a child when she was asleep… as innocent as the toy kitten she had gifted him with in prison. But he knew her inner nature, and he smirked as he remembered the night before. His Harley Quinn was far from innocent, and he had done his damndest to expose her for her true self. He often laughed to himself, remembering that she had once planned on writing a book about her time "treating The Joker" and exposing him in a way. _Funny how things pan out,_ he thought, as he tucked a half pink loose strand of hair behind her ear. He would always relish her true nature, and take pride in the fact that he brought it out in her, but he would most certainly not share. She was his to behold, and his only. He sat up a smidge, and let her head rest lower, about his waist.

 _A woman with red hair was upset with her. "You have got to be kiddin' me, kid!" The woman was sitting across the table from her, in a house she didn't recognize. They were eating take-out chinese food._

" _That scumbag doesn't give a shit about you. Do you really want to spend your precious little life mooning over some guy who is obsessed with another_ guy?"

 _Tears stung Harley's eyes and cooled her cheeks. She didn't know which "guy" the redhead was talking about, but she knew that she loved who the redhead was bashing, and she didn't like hearing him being talked about like this._

" _You don't understand him, Ivey." The voice was hers, but she couldn't feel herself saying the words. "He understands me." This last part came out squeaky and choked, the effect of her crying._

" _Harls, hun,_ I _understand you." Her voice was sad, and stuffed full with concern. She saw the woman's hand reach to touch hers lightly._

" _You just need some help." Tears were running hot down Harley's cheeks, and her shoulders hunched as she let the sobs out._

" _I-I thought Mistah J was helping me…" Ivey stood and moved to kneel in front of Harley, who was curled up on the dining room chair, hugging her knees with one arm, the other still on the table from when Ivey hand touched it._

" _Honey, look at me." Harleys big blue watery eyes tried to focus on the woman's big green eyes._

" _You don't need him. You need your medication, and you need to have a little fun that doesn't involve harming yourself or mass murdering hundreds…" She chuckled a little when Harley gave her the "aw-where's-the-fun-in-that-shrug". Ivey sighed, adoringly at her._

" _There's always room for a little maiming and hazing here and there though, right?" Harley tried to smile at her friend, who was trying her damnedest to cheer her up._

" _But seriously kiddo, you need to get your feet under you. Let go of crazy-clown-pants." Harley nodded. But her heart tore just a little more._

" _I think something is wrong with me, Ivey… I think I'm too hard for him to love…"_

 _Ivey's face flushed, angrily._

" _Girl, you aren't hard to love just because you want to be treated right and expect a level of decency in a relationship." She paused, to think. "You're hard to love because you're batshit crazy, like most of us." They both laughed, and Ivey wiped away Harleys tears with her thumb, gently._

He wiped at her cheek with his rough thumb, hoping he wouldn't wake her. She was crying in her sleep. Harley never slept well, but this was an oddity. When he pulled his thumb back from her cheek, her eyes shuddered open.

She looked up at J, who was watching her with an expression she couldn't name.

"Where am I?" She yawned, her little head rolling in his lap lazily.

"We're home, baby." He soothed, running his fingertips down her back lightly.

She giggled at the sensation. He smiled at the sound.

Realization… or _non_ -realization gripped her then, and she shot up like a spring. Her weight shifted all to one arm as she sat up to look J in the eye.

"Wha-?" Her jaw went slack, comically.

"You're That Joker man!" He stiffened. _So she had forgotten._ His still heart sank. He nodded, and forced a grim smile.

"That I am, honey." He answered, mutely.

"W-what… What do you want with me? Why am I here?" Her voice shook. She must have been realizing she was stark naked, and in The Crowned Prince of Pains bed. _C'mon baby, put two and two together._

He reached down for the comforter, that had been tossed off the bed in their antics the night before, and offered it to her.

"Wrap yourself up if you want… I can imagine you're quite unnerved to wake up like this." He said, slightly smug.

To his surprise Harley giggled. " _Actually,_ I wake up like this often." She countered.

 _Little minx._ He knew she had been with a plethora of men before him, but he tried not to dwell of the fact, for it made his head steam and his ears ring.

"Yes, you're quite the hoe. What do you want, a medal?" He miffed, stood up, lit a cigarette and searched for pants on the littered floor moodily.

"Men are such hypocrites, y'know?" Said Harley, in a huff, pulling the comforter about herself so she was wreathed in billowy purple.

"Like, if a girl has more than a few sexual exploits she is chastised for it, and if men-"

J threw a pillow at her and cut her off.

"Blah fucking blah, honey. I've heard it."

He was pulling on pleated purple dress pants, and leaning over his phone, which was lighting up and throwing a buzzing fit flat on the bedside table. J sighed and put it to his ear.

"Wow, you really woke up on the wrong side of the bed, didn'tcha?" Harley asked, tossing the pillow aside, pissed.

"No. Just, something dear to me has gone missing." Admitted The Joker, before he began a hushed and heated conversation with whoever had called him.

Harley thought about the comment for a minute, shrugged it off, stretched, and proceeded to get up.

"Justasecond," said J into the phone, rushed. He held the phone to his shoulder and turned around to face the naked Harls who seemed to be riffling through the piles of mess on the floor for something.

"What do you think you are you doing?" He asked her.

"Dressin' up. What's it look like?" She found a shirt that looked kind of familiar to her, and pulled it over herself.

 _You got all dressed up for me, Puddin'?_

"For what? You're staying here." He asked, a kind of distress lining his words.

"I wanta help ya find that thing that'cha said was lost." She untucked her tainted hair from the neck of the white/red/black t-shirt, and scanned the ground for undies.

"You can't…"

"Oh I'm a regular ol' slooth when it comes to finding lost stuff, Mistah The Joker Sir." She laughed at the nickname and pulled on pink undies.

His eyes travelled over her body, and he was almost distracted.

"You're a criminal babycakes, not a masked vigilante or detective." He had forgotten he was on the phone, and someone was yelling through the speaker into his shoulder.

"Goddammit WHAT?" Barked The Joker, raising the phone back to his ear.

Harley pretended to explore the room, and moved toward the door, while J continued to argue in a hushed voice.

"What's this for?" She asked, a bit of nervousness shook her voice.

J looked up, and saw that she was holding the cuffs he had locked her in not too long ago.

"Whattaya think they're for dollface?" And he snickered.

Harley's cheeks burned, and she examined her wrists, shocked to find they were chaffed.

"BASTARD!"

Harley flinched when J screamed into the phone.

"I _told_ you, two days. I need one more day." He ran his fingers through his shock of bright green hair. His eyes met Harleys gentle gaze from across the room and he took a deep breath.

"You could have warned me, Doc… Your toxin is flawed, she remembered for a bit last night."

Ge gave up trying to whisper, knowing Harls could hear him either way. She looked concerned, and even… Sad?

J pushed the chair he had been in yesterday, so it was facing his lady. Still listening to

Scarecrows voice mumble through the speaker, he sat down in the chair. "Well you've brainwashed the wrong fucking guy's girlfriend man…" He motioned for Harley to come to him. She slowly walked towards him.

"Oh I'll show you side effects, Doctor Hay-for-brains." He growled.

Harley sat at his feet and looked up at him.

"Give me a reason to not have my boys tie you to a stake and burn you alive out at that farm of yours." He looked down at her. Something that sickened him to the core swelled within him, but it was a bitter sweet sickness… A feeling that no other than his queen had awakened in him before. He winked at her and almost smiled… but the voice on the phone said something that made his breath stop and his eye bulge.

Harley, confused and worried, searched his face for answers. Was this hurricane of a man in trouble because of her? For reasons she couldn't explain, she felt responsible for his unravelling.

"What is it?" She asked, finally frightened. She didn't know this man, but she could sense this wasn't his normal behavior.

The phone dropped from his hands, and hit the floor with a thud and a light buzz from the speaker. The head underneath the shock of bright hair drooped forward and he held his face in his tattooed hands.

Harley, brainwashed or not, is of course always curious.

"What is it, Mr. J?" She put her hand on his knee, pleading him.

"Harley…" His voice cracked.

"Yeah? What?" She impatiently tried to get lower so she could see his face but he didn't budge.

"If you… If you l-love someone…" He choked on the word love. "Do you do what's best for them? Even if it's not what you want?"

Harley, sat on that thought for a moment. His question triggered images to flash through her mind… People asking her advice… asking for help…

"If what's best for the one you love isn't what you want for them… is it really what's best for them?" She countered. Answering a question that vague, with a new question was an old habit of hers.

J snorted. "Oh dollface, nothing I've ever wanted has been 'for the best'." Pain laced his voice, and it trumped the false bravado he was trying to portray.

"But I see your point, miss Harleen." He raised his head, to see her face inches from his.

"You've always been good at talking to me." He said, and he winked.

Harley smiled. "Have I? Can you tell me about it?"

J reached to the floor, picking up a shoulder holster. "Just wait until tomorrow, honey." He slid his arms through the holster and pulled the left gun from it.

"Why tomorrow?" She pouted. She was tired of being clueless.

J loaded the gun.

"By this time tomorrow you will remember everything."

He stood up abruptly and walked towards the bedroom door.

"But Mr. J-" she started to get up, but he was already leaving.

Before he slammed the door, he said, "Be a good girl, hm? I'll be back soon."


	6. C'mon baby

**Hey guys! I'm back. Did ya miss me? I have been unable to write much this last month because of some family hoohaa but I'm ready to write a bunch now so look out. I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. It could get a little violent from here on out… but they're bad guys it's what they do! If you're a fan of these twisted two then I'm sure you know it comes with the package. If you have suggestions or anything just comment and I'll consider them for upcoming chapters. I really appreciate all the reviews and it motivates me to keep going. I love you all, and thanks for sticking with me and this story.**

 **Xx mads**

"Hey slick! Thank's for letting me borrow your car yesterday, I really owe ya one."

Bruce turned around, surprised. The voice had come from inside his manor, and he had expected to enter an empty house, but who was waiting for him, along with Alfred his butler? The infamous Joker. He was comically sipping at some tea that Alfred had obviously poured for him, the tray and teapot still sitting in the worried looking servant's hands. The two clattered against the tray slightly when the old man's hand shook slightly. They stood in the shadow of the staircase. But The joker slowly stepped into the light, a grin stretching his face.

"What are you doing here, clown?" Bruce inquired, a tad irritated. He had been getting the Batmobile repaired, after he had found it parked outside his mansion, with a big purple ribbon placed on it's dashboard. He wasn't angry about the damage done to it so much (Joker had only keyed the side to read: "I'm the millionaire Bruce Wayne and I like to buttfuck Superman") but he was more upset with the fact that The Joker had risked blowing his cover by parking the Batmobile in front of his mansion.

"Awwww c'mon Bats! Can't a guy pay a visit to his favorite enemy once-in-a-while?" He slurped down the rest of the tea and batted his eyelashes over the cup and giving the unforgiving Bruce his best "puppy eyes". Bruce pushed up his sleeves as if preparing for a fight.

"Uhm, Sir…" Begins Alfred. "I tried to stop him but-"

"But I told him he better fix his masters BFF a cup of tea while he waits," He turns his gastly smile sideways, to face Alfred. "Or I would "blow" this popsicle stand… And all." He continued to swagger towards the fuming Bruce. J raised his eyebrows and added, "Oh, yes. I know about your little emo batcave beneath this elderly home of yours." He dropped the teacup he had been holding, and let it shatter on the stone floor.

"Whoops." He mockingly winced, peeked through one eye timidly up at the unasked crusader. "Hope that wasn't mommy Wayne's china…"

Bruce barred his teeth and answered in a deeper voice. "Why are you here?"

The joker frowned. "Nobody values smalltalk anymore. Tsk tsk." He motioned for Alfred to come sweep up the broken glass beneath his feet. The old man looks at Bruce, who nods, and Alfred goes to get a broom.

"Okay, I'll _cut_ to the chase here…" with the word 'cut' he flicks out his switchblade, and circles Bruce slowly. His "Damaged" tattoo crinkling with his brow as he pretends to be considering something complexing.

"Please, do." Prompts the annoyed billionaire as he hangs up his dress jacket on a fancy looking coat rack.

"I've just had a disturbing conversation with a friend of ours." He picked his teeth with the switchblade.

" _You_? Disturbed? I don't think so." Countered Bruce, actually snorting.

J shot him a startled look but continued, still pacing.

"Scarecrow… He won't let me turn Harls in myself. He wants to deliver her himself, so that he can claim the reward money."

"So let him. What's the problem?"

"I don't trust the quack…" He kicked a piece of broken glass on the floor. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. You don't love a woman like I love Harley Quinn."

"You mean I'm not a lunatic who is in love with another havoc wreaking lunatic?" Bruce said, checking his watch absentmindedly.

"Exactly!" J chuckled.

"Well what am I supposed to do about it?"

Alfred stepped between the two and bent down to sweep the mess of china into a dustpan, and J stepped aside to give the nervous man some space.

"I want you to be at the meeting, when I hand her off the the Doc." He almost sounds embarrassed as he says this, his glazed eyes staring at the floor. "And if you could just follow them and see that she is transported… unharmed… to the facility."

Bruce was silent for a minute, pondering this.

"Why can't you have one of your men keep a sore eye on your girlfriend?" He finally asked.

Joker rolled his eyes and smiled. "You can be really dim sometimes, Bat." J sees himself in a mirror on the wall next to the coat rack and adjusts his purple bowtie. "I can't have my guys do it, the Doc isn't stupid, he will be watching us like a hawk."

Understanding crosses Bruce's face and he nods. "I see."

"Plus, as hard as I try to be a symbol of fear… some blokes just don't fear a clown as much as they fear an emo spandex wearing enima of justice…" He lifts a gloved hand to stifle a snicker.

"You're really in no position to mock me, Bozo." He nods at Alfred again as the butler leaves, satisfied with his cleanup job. "Thank you, Alfred."

"Yes, _thank you,_ Alfred." Mimicked J, scornfully.

"If anything, Joke, you ought to be nice to someone who has helped you so much recently…" Says Bruce, knowing he is getting underneath the Joker's toothy white skin. "But… I must admit, I enjoy seeing you in such a different state of mind. Imagine it… My mortal enemy asking for my help because he is totally whipped over his psychopath girlfriend."

J fists his hands a bit angrily. "I know we are far from partners in crime ol' pal, but what has Harls ever done to you? If you won't do it for me, at least do it for a damsel in distress."

"She hasn't done much to me… compared to you. I agree with that." Says Bruce.

J breathes a sigh of relief.

"What time is the meeting?" Bruce asks, begrudgingly.

"Tomorrow night. If I wait too long she will get worse…" Answers the Joker, recalling what Scarecrow had said to him on the phone earlier.

" _In four days her brain will forget basic functions… You're running out of time. Get your act together, circus freak."_ Those had been the words that made him drop his phone. Any hope that J had of keeping Harley forgetful or not, was shattered in that moment.

"Yeah, yeah I know. Who you do you think the hospitals called when their patients were dying from toxin induced brain failure?" Said Bruce, and he turned around to walk to the parlor.

J followed him. "Then why don't you lock him away? You know where he is hiding."

Bruce rolled his eyes this time. "He is the dealer for people in high places… He would never get a fair trial. Too many valuable citizens honor would be in danger."

"Ah see, that's why I stick to crime. No politics in just laying someone flat with a ball in their head and a smile on their face, amyright?" Chuckled the Joker, sitting down in one of the chairs.

"Get up, you're not staying." Said Bruce, looking down at the reclining clown.

"Well if you give me the boot I must request it be one of those shiny nice ones you wear with your bulletproof spandex." J kicked his feet manically as he leaned back in his seat laughing.

"I will do what you asked me to, just get out of my house and stop stealing my stuff and leaving it somewhere that would blow my cover.

"You already get blown in the covers nightly, why does it matter if I do it now and again?" Giggled the now high spirited Joker.

"Alfred!" Hollers Bruce, irritated.

The butler appears surprisingly soon, eavesdropping no doubt.

"Okay okay, I'm gone. I'm gone." Says J, standing up and slicking back his hair. He reaches his hand out for Bruce to shake, "Pleasure doing business with you Brucey. Maybe I'll repay you by not causing too much trouble for a while… even heroes need vacation now and again, don't you agree Jeeves?" Asks J, his hand still waiting to be shaked.

"I always stress that to him, Sir." Says Alfred, a smile in his voice.

"I'm not shaking your hand. You're a circus freak. I never shake hands with showmen… Too many shock buzzers and such." Says Bruce.

J smiles. _So he has learned something over the years._

"I completely understand," answers J.

And Alfred showed him out.

Later that day…

"Honeeeeeey I'm hooooooome!" The Joker hollered and then cackled as he shut the penthouse door behind him.

"Don't call me 'honey', boss." Says the giant Mr. Johnny.

J was shocked to see him standing so close to him and he nearly dropped his bags of "groceries" in surprise.

"I wasn't calling you 'honey' you great oaf!" Laughed J, taking off his jacket, and handing the bags to Johnny. "Now, can you play butler for me and get a fire going downstair-"

"Boss, she isn't doing well."

"What?"

"I tried to call you but-"

J was already running up the stairs.

"HARLEY?" He opened the door so wide it slammed against the wall and almost wacked him in its recoil.

Harley Quinn lay on the floor, near the bed, looking up at the ceiling, blank faced and twitching slightly.

"What's wrong with her?! How long has she been like this?" Shouted the hysterical clown.

The terrified Johnny stood in the doorway. "About a half hour, boss."

Joker knelt down by Harley and felt her forehead gently. His stark white fingers the same shade of porcelain as her face.

"She's burning up…" Once again the "Damaged" tattoo crumpled in worry.

"Call that Doct-"

"Uh he's out of town, Sir…"

"Well FUCK!" Shouted J, his hands idling in the air above her as if he wanted to help her somehow but wasn't sure where to start.

"She was talking out of her head earlier, Boss." Johnny scratched his head as he talked. "She said something about hurting herself to remember… She said something about 'puddin' too."

J pulled her head to his lap. "Did she? Hurt herself?"

"No, boss, I didn't think you'd want that."

Harley stared up at J, her eyes still glazed over. "Pretty… Greeeeeeen." She woozed, and a wobbly hand rose, attempted to touch J's hair but flopped to the floor. She looked around bewildered, not sure where her hand disappeared to.

Johnny laughed in the doorway, but J shot him a sharp glare.

"Johnny… Go start the fire like I asked." He said, in a placid and cold voice. "And pour two glasses of grape soda, and lay out the bearskinned rug in front of the fire."

Frightened, the huge man left the room to carry out the orders.

"Harley… Baby…" He curled her up into his arms and pressed is forehead to hers. "I know you don't know who I am right now." He closed his eyes as he spoke. "But I promise I'm going to help you." He swallowed something like remorse and continued… "I can do a better job of it. I just don't know how to care for anyone in a proper fashion…" Harley's eyes fluttered shut, but J didn't notice because his own were still closed. "But you are teaching me, babygirl. Everyday you show compassion in the most morphed and twisted ways…" Was there a sob in his throat? If there was he choked it down and opened his eyes.

"GODDAMMIT HARLEY WAKE UP!" He slapped her cheeks, and shook her. Nothing. He suddenly remembered something he had seen Batsy do once when he caught a bunch of drugged up robbers he needed to interrogate. He had blasted them with water from a fire hydrant in the street.

He carried the limp girl to the bathroom, dashing down the hall. "Stay with me, kitten." She flinched when he set her in the cold golden bathtub. A good sign.

He cranked the knob, cracking some of the tile on the wall in the process, and cold water gushed from the faucet.

"C'mon honey…" He propped her up and splashed her face with the water repeatedly and she sputtered when it filled her mouth and nose.

"Wake up for Daddy… Please." He begged, his face near hers.

Her eyes fluttered open and she tried to fight their heaviness. Her makeup smeared.

"Mistah J?" She shivered in the flooding bathtub.

"It's me, honey." He rubbed her arm, but didn't stop the water from running. "Do you remember anything?" He held his breath as he waited for her answer.

"You left…"

J nodded. "Anything else, Darlin'?"

"Y-you were upset…"

"Can you tell me your name?" He held the back of her neck to keep her head up, it kept tipping forward.

"Quinz… Quinn…" Close enough.

Her eyes shut and her words became unintelligent.

Her lips were as blue as her hair from the cold water… Time for plan B. Joker had hoped it wouldn't come to this, but it was the only other option he had if he wanted to attempt to keep her lucid.

"Johnny! Get up here!"

J removed the sopping wet shirt of his she had been wearing from her bodice, and her panties too, just for good measure.

Johnny arrived and they carried the naked Harley down the stairs.

"Here is good." Grunted J as they lay her on the rug by the fire.

Johnny looked down at his master, slightly unnerved. He had seen many horrible things done in the name of the king of jesters himself… But he always had done them with a sinister smile on his face… he had never seemed human in those moments. Something about his manner when it came to Harley that was beyond anything Johnny had seen. It was much more unpredictable and fueled with such aggression, such passion. It was everything The Joker fought so hard to expose in the human race. Brutality, blind greed, evil and even insanely mad love. John had always seen The Joker as being immune to these ailments. Until Harley.

"What are you going to do to her, Boss?" He asked, worrying about the answer.

"Oh wouldn't you like to know." J managed to chuckle. "It's a tradition of sorts actually… Like most of our mistakes." He stoked the fire. "Fetch me the ECT kit."

Johnny obeyed.

"Now scram. I don't need an audience. I'll call you in if I need you."

Johnny left.

"Are you warming up now, Harls?" J kissed her eyelids, he could feel her eyes darting everywhichway beneath the thin layers of skin. She was still fighting her demons, even in her unconciousness. She always was.

"I'm going to wake you up baby, but it's going to hurt… But I know you can take it."

Oddly enough Harleys lips twitched into something like a smile when he said that.

"Alright." He said as he hooked the pads up to her temples.

"Let's play."


	7. The Body Electric

**Hello all!**

 **Thanks for being so patient with me, I have no excuse for not updating lately. I hope you're all enjoying the new year.**

 **This chapter gets even more kinky... so beware. Also, if you have suggestions or questions please feel free to review.**

 **I will be updating more frequently from now on, as I have more time.**

 **xox mads**

She first felt delicious licks of flame behind her eyes. Then the flames engulfed her body rapidly… her toes and fingertips tingled. Colors and images flashed before her vision. A man with brilliantly green hair, skin as white as snow and the most haunting smile. More pain. From him… His most precious gift to her. The sound of his laughter filled her ears as she remembered scenes from her life. There was much love but with that love came suffering. Not the pleasant suffering that physical pain excites, but horrible mental and emotional pain. The kind that no drug can dull. The fear of being inadequate, the realization that everyone is replaceable, that others can love you less than you love them, the rejection of uncaring parents, the accepting of the fact that you can't save anyone from themselves… Her heart throbbed from feeling, not pain, and her eyes shot open.

"Harley? Baby?" The man was above her. His shining eyes were wide with hope.

"Puddin'!" Harley, with a sudden rush of strength and desire locked her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest and gripped at the hair at the nape of his neck in her little fists.

"Oh my babygirl." Sighed J, relieved, and he wrapped his tattoo littered arms around her small frame and kissed her blonde hair. She trembled in his embrace, her body still recovering from the volts that had been coursing through her.

"It worked…" He breathed in disbelief and kissed her ear. "I had to bring you back with pain, Honey, it was the only way."

Harley kissed his collarbone to his shoulder with small increments of kisses. "Mmm… you always rescue me, Daddy." She replied, her voice wavering.

J fought the guilt that tried to eat at him when she said those words… He would be doing the opposite of rescuing her by turning her in tomorrow.

"And you prove to be worth it every single time, my queen." He purred, and pulled her to him more closely, all space between them depleting. _Well not all space, but that could be arranged_ thought J.

"Hit me again, Mistah J?" Asked a breathless Harley, "I can feel myself slipping away…"

J reached for the switch, but held her to him securely before inducing another wave of electricity through her. He felt her body tense and then relax… and then he heard her moan. _Fuck._ She really was a miracle in J's eyes, in moments like this he fell in love with her more because he knew she was the only one who could dance on the wire between pleasure and pain as easily as himself and enjoy every fleeting second of agony.

"Does it feel good, babygirl?" He whispered in her ear quietly. He heightened the voltage.

"Ohhh yes…" Harley convulsed and pressed herself against J's now prominent erection.

J gasped and wished he had stripped himself down the way he had Harley, because the restraint of his suit pants was painful.

"Unnnf shit Harls…" HE barred his teeth. J switched off the waves and Harley returned his lustful stare with her own. Her blue eyes were half hooded, and she wiggled herself against him in attempt to gain some friction.

"Please, Daddy." moaned the trembling Harley.

J ran his hand through her blonde hair and took her bottom lip between his teeth.

"Please what, Puddin'?" He drawled out, his other hand fiddling with his pants. He knew what she wanted.

"Fuck me, please." She whimpered, trying to pull him closer. When he didn't react she bared her teeth and he felt her nails dig into his chest.

He smiled, evil in his eyes. "You know what, babygirl?"

She drug her nails down toward his stomach, silently asking for him to return the pain.

J kissed her ear. She could feel his hot breath in her golden hair as he said: "If I still had a soul, you would be its match."

"Oh, Puddin!" Her eyes dewed up and she kissed him feverishly. He growled on her lips and smacked her ass, she let out a squeak and tried once again to pull him closer.

Goddammit girl, you're so greedy." Said J, but not angrily, almost giddy. He thrust into her suddenly filling her.

"Fuck! J!" She gasped. She hadn't even noticed he had rid himself of the trousers. Her tight pussy struggled to adjust to the size of him.

J smiled when she winced in pain.

Harley slapped him across the face in one fluid motion. The clown stared at her in shock.

"You bastard! I wasn't ready!" She whined, arching her back, which caused her pussy to contort in a fashion that most likely bent his dick uncomfortably.

"Harley stop that-!" His eyes bulged and he tried to pull out but the little minx only gripped his dick tighter within her. She giggled at his discomfort, and his outrage caught aflame.

"You think that's funny do you?" He sneered, gripping her neck tightly with both his hands. "You don't wanna hurt Daddy, do you, Kitten?"

She tried to cough and she pulled at his bone white fingers. J only tightened his grip on her airway. He pulled himself from her, swiftly freeing his raging erection. A tear rolled from the crease of her eye to her ear. When J saw this he almost stopped. Almost. She had to know she couldn't fuck with him like tha- "OUCH!" She was pulling his hair! Violently yanking at it, actually. Some strands of green came out in her hands. "Not the hair not the hair!" Shouted Joker as he released her to manically try to flatten his now creased do. "You'll pay for that one you little monster." He growled through his golden smile. Harley smiled and raised an eyebrow at him, before saying, "Or will I?"

"Wha-?" She artfully rolled him to the floor so that she was the one on top. She pinned his hands to the bear skinned rug, so that they were right above his head. He was defenseless. _Something had to be done,_ J thought to himself. But _Oh God, she felt so good…_

Harley trailed her tongue down his tummy, ever so slowly. She didn't free his hands. J's breathing hitched and then resumed a little more rapidly. "You-y-you... tease!" His voice tried to be intimidating but failed. The neediness there couldn't be masked.

Harley giggled as he writhed under her, silently begging her. She trailed kisses around his naval… So close to where he desperately wanted her.

"Stop fucking around, Harls…" Warned J, breathlessly. She watched him under hooded lids as she slowly licked his dick from bottom to tip. She felt his hands squeeze hers as the wave of pleasure rocked through him.

One of her hands freed his and moved to cup his balls.

"Tell me what you want Mistah J." She said, before taking him fully into her mouth. His legs stiffened and his free hand gripped the sheets tightly in his white fist.

"Mmmm… Let Daddy fuck that little mouth." He purred in pleasure.

Harley moaned while she took him deeper, sending little vibrations up his dick. He barred his teeth and let out an animalistic growl. He was getting impatient. She wasn't sucking hard enough. J grabbed her by her hair, roughly, and pulled her back up to him. There was an urgency in his movements that almost scared her. Almost.

"Yowwww!" She shrieked and grabbed her head in pain. She didn't have long to recover though, because he rolled so he was above her, and mimicking her action from before, he pinned her hands. "I need you- I need to feel you, baby…" He pressed his erection to her pussy, and slid it between her lips slowly. _Oh christ…_ she was soaking wet. The hot juice coated his tip, and it took all his strength not to plunge into her again, balls deep.

"Sucking me really revved you up, huh Harls?" He teased, in a sort of raspy gasp. She just moaned in response and tried to free her hands.

"Hold still, dammit. Or I'll have to spank you."

Harley whimpered and stopped writhing beneath him. She resolved to simply begging him with her eyes. J gave her a stare of "don't you dare" and reached for the suction cups he had used for shocking earlier. To his surprise, Harley didn't protest as she watched him do this. Instead her eyes rolled back and she breathed a little shallower in anticipation. _I love you, my sick little twisted thing…_

He put on of the suction cups on her naval, and the second one he put on her lower belly.

"I'm gonna hurtcha, Harls." He said as he reached between her body and his in order to position himself.

"Please, Daddy J… Please… I'm slipping again." Pain rang out loud and clear in her voice on the word "slipping". Emotional pain. She was trying so hard to stay with him. J's heart beat faster and he leaned down to kiss her deeply, then he whispered on her lips, "I won't let you slip away, babygirl. C'mon, hold me tight." He felt her legs lock around his waist, and her arms grip his biceps. He slowly pushed himself into her, while tracing the tips of his teeth along the crook in her neck. She arched, wanting more.

J flipped the switch.

Harley convulsed suddenly beneath him, a blonde and naked string puppet tied to pain and it's manipulative hand. The convulsions had the desired effect, she clenched intensely on the large dick within her and J cried out in pain.

His yell was nothing compared to the agonized yet pleasured scream of Harley's. J was sure they could be heard from outside the room, but he didn't give a fuck. Johnny knew not to come in unless he was called for.

"Jaaaaaaaaaaay!" Yelled the stricken girl as he thrust in and out of her as best he could in her chaotic physical state.

"Ugh baby, you're crushing me- fuck!"

Harley, through her pain stricken grimace, managed to smile at him wickedly.

J gripped her waist so tightly, he knew he was leaving bruises. He didn't care. He wanted to mark her. He tried to rock in and out of her but he could barely move in her as she spasmed.

"C-can you feel me Harls?" He gasped between efforts.

"Yes...unff..." She moaned, and smiled as she shook. "I feel so… _alive._ " She was back.

"You… f-fuck… are alive, my queen." He flipped the switch again, and the convulsions stopped. "And you will be as long as I have a say in the matter." He added, as he pulled her into a sitting position. She tightened her legs around his waist and he leaned his tattooed forehead to hers and they breathed in each others breath, and felt each other.

 _This could be the last time…_

That thought was too much for J. He couldn't let anything ruin what time he had left with _his_ Harley.

Harls felt the emotion charge the air around them too, and she clung to him. Her arms circled around his neck and locked behind his head.

"I got you, babygirl… Move on me…" He ordered, but still put his hands on her waist to guide her as she rode him. The shock therapy had left her weak… She wouldn't survive another lengthy shock. He had to make this count.

She whimpered as he pulled her down to him harder each time, hitting her just where she needed it most.

"Does that feel good hm?" He purred in her ear.

She nodded, and her eyes closed in pleasure. "More… Please…"

He quickened the pace, and she grew tighter on his dick. She was close. He knew he couldn't last much longer, himself.

"Fuck… you're so tight…" He grunted, he felt his dick swell against the hot walls of her pussy.

"Please… Please…" She was begging.

"Tell me what you want, Dr. Quinzel."

Her eyes opened, but remained hooded as she tried to form a coherent reply.

"Fill me with your cum, daddy. Please…" She clenched on him harder as she spoke and J thrusted desperately into her, tumbling down from the edge of pleasure he had been balancing on. Harley screamed and writhed above him as she came undone also.

Both clutched each others naked bodies tightly, not wanting the close security of each others presence to be compromised… They felt the doom of their fate waiting outside of their twisted love.

As The Joker held this woman, he felt actual fear. She held the one thing he believed he did not have: A heart.


	8. The Bat's Favor

**Hey everyone! Sorry (again!) for the delay, I was on vacation and what not but I'm back, and I don't have writer's block anymore either. So expect some quicker updates to the story.**

 **I also want your opinions on something: I'm thinking of writing a story about JxH and their meeting. I know it's been done many times (I've read them all) but I think I could take a decent whack at it. Should I go for it? Would you read it?**

 **Thank you for all the favoriting and commenting, I have loved every single one of you.**

 **Xxx**

 **Mads**

"I miss you already, Puddin'."

She was crying in his shoulder as he carried her spent body up the stairs.

He had just explained that he would be separated from her in the near future… But that it was for her own good. She had pouted in between love-making and shocks, but she understood the best that her tortured mind could.

"I'll miss you too, my Queen." J purred in her ear. "You must be a good girl, anyway, even if you're grumpy."

She frowned at his words.

"Promise Daddy."

She nodded. Her eyelids drooped and fluttered, she was fighting to stay awake.

"It's okay, Harls…" J cleared his throat, to stifle emotions threatening to rise. "You sleep now. I'll be yours, even when you don't remember me, I'll be yours."

Her tiny hands locked behind his neck and she lost consciousness… and she lost herself.

"Mr. Joker, sir, what are you doing?" A nervous Johnny asked.

The furious clown was piling chairs and rugs and wall decorations in a heap in the dining room of the penthouse. He moved about manically, throwing everything in sight in the direction of the pile.

"It all has to go! I can't live here. I can't- and and neither can anything else live in this fucking shit hole!"

He threw a glass table onto the pile. It shattered epically and J couldn't help but laugh at the affect.

 _Oh destroying things can be such good therapy._

The henchmen, while they were rather used to J's outbursts and fits, were startled by the unusual outrage driving his actions currently. Usually J would laugh menacingly but let his calm and cool demeanor rule, no matter how ghastly his actions. They had seen him behead someone with a kitchen knife, slowly, while talking about the weather. This was a rampage in which he had no control. The flicker of excitement that usually danced like a flame in his eyes wasn't visible as he poured gasoline over every surface of the penthouse room.

When every can was vanquished he stopped. He stood there, staring at the puddle of filmy liquid beneath his feet.

"Fetch her from upstairs." No emotion inflated his words.

The henchmen moved, about to follow his orders, but stopped when he abruptly continued.

"After we get in the car, torch the place."

They nodded silently in response, knowing their words would not be welcome. Speaking against the Joker usually ended in death.

After the men disappeared, J took the bear skin rug and what was left of the grape soda and left the room.

"GETCHER FILTHY HANDS OFF ME YOU BRUTES!" Could be heard from outside as J's gang (all of them) drug a disgruntled Harley down the gasoline slick stairs. It took every single man to make any progress towards the bottom, with her kicking, ball wapping and ear biting being divided amongst whoever dared to yank her further. They had been ordered to retrieve her gently, but the task was easier said than done.

In the car, J couldn't help but almost smile as he heard her wail and put up a fight. He looked at Johnny and said "Well at least we know the toxin doesn't affect her temper."

It was meant as a joke but he spoke in a tone so flat and dull Johnny wasn't sure if he was allowed to laugh.

Eventually she was tossed into the backseat of the car, by thoroughly thrashed henchen. She huffed and puffed from the exertion of her tantrum, but seemed to calm down when she spotted the green hair, peeking over the passenger seat headrest. She was further comforted when she noticed the bottle of grape soda in the seat beside her.

Johnny stomped the gas, as smoke filled the atmosphere around the car. The fire would prove as a wonderful distraction for the police, fireman, and possibly Batman (however unlikely it is for him to clock in during the daytime).

J heard a bottlecap pop off behind him. A few noisy swigs after the pop, and then: "Don't think a grape soda is gonna keep me quiet, you washed up comedian."

J chuckled, "Talk all you want my dear…"

She didn't like that, she wanted to fight. As usual. She crossed her arms and stared hard into the back of the headrest.

J could feel her feet kick the back of his seat repeatedly. He didn't need to look at her to know she was pouting like a baby. He would miss her pouting… Who would be the pain in his ass when she's gone?

"Why don't you just let me go? I wasn't hurting nothin'." She huffed.

"That's what I'm doing, Harls. I'm letting you go."

He peeked at her stealthily through the rearview mirror, curiosity forcing him to witness her reaction to his words.

Her face scrunched up even more, but this time in angry confusion.

"Well why didncha just let me walk out myself then? Instead of sending your gang o' henchies to harass me?"

More kicks against his seat.

"They weren't harassing you, they were following my orders. And I told you before, I can't let you roam free because you're poisoned and you need to see a doctor."

He didn't know whether she had forgotten or if she was playing dumb.

"I'm fiiiiiiine!" She hollered, and hurled the empty grape soda bottle to smash into tiny shards against the dashboard. Johnny flinched, but continued driving.

J turned in his seat and frowned at her. "That was naughty." He hissed.

She looked a bit more apprehensive, her instincts telling her he was dangerous. But a part of her wanted to piss him off… Which part? She couldn't remember.

"I know you don't recall this, but last night you promised to be good for Da- uhm.. _Me_."

She looked into his eyes, they seemed to be willing her to remember something. They held the key to some revelation…

 _Fur beneath her… strong arms around her… and delicious pain all the way through her…_

" _Be good…" He had purred in her ear…_

Heat rushed to her cheeks. She didn't know if this was the memory he wanted her to relive, but she knew it was a memory of him… of them both… and it embarrassed her.

He smiled when she blushed and reached to touch her cheek, when the car lurched to an abrupt halt.

"What's the problem?" J snarled through his teeth at Johnny.

"Sorry boss. It's the Bat."

Harley knew she should be relieved to see the masked vigilante standing inches from the hood of the getaway car. He was obviously to save her from the clutches of the psycho clown man... but she wasn't. She was suddenly afraid. She didn't know of what, but uneasiness overcame her.

"Why is he here?" Her voice shook.

"He's always fucking doing that." J said flatly. Then he turned his attention back to her, irritation leaving his face.

"You have to trust me, okay?" This time he reached out and successfully caressed her cheek.

Harley didn't flinch away from his touch, but tears started to roll down her porcelain face. She was starting to feel sick. Her head leaned into his hand and her vision blurred.

"Harley?" J tapped her cheeks, panicking.

Someone tapped on the glass. It was Bat. Johnny looked at J for orders.

"You can let him in. He's helping us." J said, still trying to wake Harley.

Johnny raised his bushy eyebrows in surprise but he didn't protest, and there was a satisfying "click" when he pressed the unlock button.

The door opened. Batman, recognizing the sensitive situation he was entering, examined his enemies' face. It didn't fit. Actual pain was registered in the clowns face... it was too foreign for Bruce to comprehend. This was a cold blooded gangster who preyed on just about anyone who seemed like they needed to learn a lesson... But here he was. Hurting. In Bruce's mind, this criminal deserved pain, if not death, but Harley did not deserve pain. He would help, but for her. Not for The Joker.

"Let's get her to the Crow." Bats deep voice broke the heavy silence in the car. J's hands lingered near her cheek he had been holding.

Harley was out cold. She didn't look like she was asleep, she looked dead. Both The Joker and Batman had seen enough death to know what it looked like, and it unnerved them both.

"Is she breathing?" Bruce asked, and he stuck his finger under her nose.

J held his breath, his lungs not willing to do their job.

"She's breathing. There's time." Bat said and swiftly pulled her out of the vehicle. J followed, in a daze. He wanted to carry her himself but wasn't sure his arms wouldn't turn to jelly. The only person who shared his craziness was Harleen… The only one who saw him… And loved him.

"Wait up, bat brain! Not everyone here has wings!" Puffed J, as they rounded a corner, into an alleyway. Bats had picked up speed, and was accidentally gliding with each step.

He stopped abruptly at the end of the alley. J crashed into the back of him and fell to the ground.

"Goddammit Batsy! You keep-" J started to grumble angrily as he picked himself back up and dusted off his suit, but Bats interrupted.

"We can't show up together. Crows waiting a few blocks down, and I'm sure he has eyes on your crew for miles."

J frowned in frustration, but knew the Bat was right. He would have to say his goodbye here. He held his arms out. Asking to take her. Bats obliged, and handed her over.

J knelt with her in his arms, and kissed her unresponsive ruby lips. She was his… No matter who took her. Before pulling away he lowered his mouth to her ear and whispered, "I'm doing this because… I- I…" Could he say the word love?

"She knows." This came from the black shadow towering over him, waiting. "And she's running out of time." He added.

J was suddenly angry. He fisted her shirt in his hands. He hated not being in control, he hated having to rely on Batman of all people, and he hated being manipulated by a fake doctor…

"We will get our revenge on Crow, I swear." He growled and watched the shadow take his Queen from his arms and dash into the fading light of the alley.


	9. Calling Card

**_Hey there, thanks for waiting guys! Here's the next chapter. Sorry again for taking a long time. I appreciate all the support and patience. Hope you enjoy, I really had fun writing this one._**

 ** _xoxo mads_**

 _Less than a week later…_

The green eyed clown scowled through a smoke-like mist that sat in the air and distorted the view of the bloody brawl taking place just ten feet away from him. A large throne looking chair had been placed center-stage inside Mr. J's club. A sign read "closed :(" at the entry door, but just below the flickering glow of the sign, there was a paper posted to the door and on it a messy scribble that read "Try-outs. 9:00pm." Underneath the writing was a crude grin painted in what was obviously drying blood. Probably a signature of some kind, for the sake of authenticity. The Jokers followers could be quite skeptical, especially once the sun disappeared behind the gloomy skyline of Gotham… when the caped shadow swept over the brave or stupid souls who try to do evil in the night. Anything could be a trap. But, planning try-outs for after sundown was all part of the test. The Prince of Crime needed soldiers of chaos who would not only risk being caught by Batman, but _they should hope for it._ No one would seek out the vigilante the way that The Joker does, but they should not shake in their boots at the thought of him, they should be _inspired_ and _thrilled_ by the thought of him. The _fun_ part was the possibility of not getting away.

"Oh Johnny!" could be heard playing from behind the clubs closed doors and barred windows. The tune was ringing full blast, yet it only partially masked the sounds of bought.

Two men, crimson with each others blood, were pacing in a circle, as if they were two african tigers, each one stalking the other. This draw had been happening for a few minutes now and J was getting impatient with them. He cleared his throat comically, and shouted "ANY DAY NOW BOOOOYS!"

The more wiry one made the first move. He probably felt he had more to prove because of his size. He ran forward unexpectedly, and instead of hitting his opponent straight on as it seemed he was about to, he slid underneath the man and with, both fists bawled up above him, he sack wapped the surprised brute on his way through to the other side.

"Bravo! Bravo!" Said The Joker, clapping his hands together like a kid at the circus. Johnny, leaned forward so that he was level to the throned clown, to say, "That was a cheap shot boss." J patted Johnnys cheek and exclaimed, "That's how I like it, JJ old boy! You forget I have simple taste. The cheap stuff is the best stuff…" He caressed his own chin, his eyes glowing kryptonite as he daydreamed of his cheap desires. "Dynamite… Gunpowder, gasoline…" Johnny nodded, though he disagreed somewhat. J had spent millions on cars, choppers, clubs and drugs since Harley came along. He had a small suspicion that the increase in money spending had something to do with impressing his lady.

While they had exchanged words, the altercation between the two try-outers had escalated rapidly. The Ballwapper, (as some of the crowd was referring to the smaller one as now) had jumped up on a table, and as the larger one charged for him (having recovered from his sensitive injury), Ballwapper mounted the brutes shoulders, gripped his square-like buzz-cut head in his hands and twisted his neck.

There was a sickening _crack_.

The brutes eyes crossed, and he collapsed suddenly, taking the unsuspecting Ballwapper with him.

There was a unanimous "ohhhhhh" when a second _crack_ echoed sharply. The sound was Ballwappers head cracking open like an egg, its yolk painting the cold tile with sickening shades of blue, purple, red…

Although the turn of events had been entertaining, Joker was upset. This was about the third "tie" of the night. The other tie-ers were piled by the far exit, reminding him of the disappointment that this evening had become.

J stood up, inhaling sharply. All was quiet, no one dared speak. J exhaled just as sharply and smoothed back his slicked hair with both hands (a habit of his).

"Boss-" Johnny started.

J silently silenced him by raising his ring clad hand without looking at his henchman. Johnny bit his tongue, deciding not to say whatever it was he wished to voice. Joker paced the stage, caressing his chin and grumbling as he thought. The crowd surrounding the ring began to whisper, as the two bodies in the center of everything cooled. They were all wondering: _What now?_

J's frustration finally drove him to speak. "What has _happened?_ " Everyone exchanged looks, wondering what the question was referring to. "It used to be, there was a well rounded villain on every corner of Gotham city… Now I can't even find a soul to hire for a simple heist…" He looked more like a pouting toddler now, and he plopped back into his throne with an exaggerated _hufffff_.

"It's the Batman, boss." Said Johnny, quickly this time, so as not to be shushed. J raised an eyebrow at him, but did not scold him for talking. Johnny continued: "He's caught everyone worth catching." Some loud words of defense erupted from the now impatient and insulted crowd. J shot one of the loudest hollerers with a handgun that had been sitting on the arm of his throne. The man fell instantly, with a bullet through his eye, and everyone shut up. Some even left, sensing the party was over.

J returned his attention to Johnny who seemed eager to make a point. "And..?" Encouraged J. Johnny gulped, eyeing the third dead man this evening as he spoke. "Well, uhh… Batman has put away some of the best in Gotham. They're mostly in Gotham Prison, boss. We could… we could jailbreak them out… they'd owe us."

J's smile grew slowly until it stretched across his face completely. He liked the idea. It would make simple work of finding a crew. He would know the men were qualified. It was simply the matter of breaking them out. He took out a switchblade from his pocket and proceeded to pick his silver capped teeth with it while he thought. He needed men that new the city, knew how to pull off a good heist, and if he was lucky, knew something about Scarecrow. His turn out at the club tonight was lousy. Mostly homeless old men, and addicts. The usual "fast cash" crowd. He wanted men who were in it for more than just the money, he needed men who enjoyed crime.

"Once again, Johnny boy, you have proven yourself useful." He praised, wagging his switchblade at him fondly.

Johnny was pleased, but nodded humbly.

"I won't have to cook you and eat you afterall…" He joked, thinking about the horrible food he had been eating the past few days. Harley wasn't an amazing cook but she was better than him. Even with take-out she was better at ordering. She knew all the good places. Just last night he had gotten food poisoning and vomited all over due to some weird shit he had ordered. The hounds wouldn't even touch the leftovers. That's how bad it was. Usually they'd eat anything.

 _I bet Harls misses them. The 'babies' as she called them._ J was just thinking that he better keep the dogs alive if he wanted Harley to come back to him when sirens sang out on street.

"Johnny have you fed the dogs?"

Johnny shook his head.

"Take those to them, will ya?" J said, pointing to the bloody mess of men piled below.

Johnny grimaced but moved toward the bodies. J motioned to the bouncer at the door.

"Partie's over fellas! Get home to your filthy whore mothers!" Yelled a bouncer. The place was empty before you could say oh Johnny.

Later in Arkham…

A blonde, pig-tailed head faced one of the tvs in the psych lounge. A cuffed hand twirled the pink end of her hair as she watched. A tear ran down her cheek. It traveled slowly down her face, which did not change. Betraying no emotion. If there was no tear you wouldn't be able to detect any sign of upset inside her. The glammed-up news reporter was talking excitedly (yet concerned) about a prison break on the screen.

" _It seemed there was a hostage situation last night in the GC Prison. Officials are unable to release many details about the heist at the moment… However we do know that security cams revealed the notorious Joker was involved if not in charge of the ordeal."_

The screen cut to some blurry footage of J in a police uniform, his green hair giving him away, leading a group of inmates down what appeared to be a jail cell hallway.

Harley's hands gripped the two ends of her pigtails and her teeth clenched. Her mind raced: _That bastard has time to heist a prison, but hasn't rescued me first! Doesn't he know where to find me? He's the one who put me here! Is this punishment for forgetting him? It wasn't my fault, Puds, they drugged me…I remember now… I remember..._

" _Reports just coming in- all guards and officers within the prison seem to be declared either dead. We are about to show you some footage of what the GCPD discovered this A.M. while recovering the facility. Viewer discretion advised, these images are graphic and quite disturbing."_

The screen cut to some handheld camera footage, in what must have been the prison meal room. The hand holding the camera shook at the sight. There were about seven security prison guards hanging from the balcony across the room. Every single one of them had a bloody smile painted on their face.

" _Chief look!"_ one of the cops exclaimed, pointing at the floor directly beneath the swinging men.

A message was written, of course, in drying crimson, it read: " _Hang in there, baby!"_

Harley's face changed from the cold stare it had been, into a wide grin. She jumped up, and before she could stop herself she said "Oh, Puddin'!" She clapped her hands together as best she could with them cuffed, and then quickly (realizing her mistake) clasped her hands to her mouth. The room had quieted and all eyes watched her. Tears streamed from her eyes freely now, she was so happy. He hadn't forgotten her.

"That's enough tv time for this one." One of the guards said, and she was taken out of the room. She didn't protest. She knew he was coming for her.

Later, in the private room of Mr. J's club…

"How many does that make, Johnny?" The clown asked, picking at his teeth with his switchblade. Johnny was looking around, carrying a stack of pizzas, trying to decide where to set them. The private rooms floor was littered with drawn up schemes, the strip poles were irremovable, so they seemed out of place in the makeshift living situation that had developed over the last few weeks since J had starting living there. He only slightly regretted burning down his previous home.

"Oh Johnny old boy, set those right here." Said J, clearing a spot on the floor for the stack of greasy boxes."

Johnny smiled as he set the boxes down and said, "I ordered a pizza from every local pizza place sir, all 26 of them."

J opened the first box, sniffed it, and tossed it across the room like a skipping rock. "Not that one."

He was looking for the place that Harley always had ordered pizza from. He knew he would know it when he smelt it. He wished he had paid more attention when she was around and could remember things.

"How's the planning coming, sir?" Asked Johnny, wishing he could ask for a slice, but knowing better.

J whipped his mouth messily with his sleeve, biting into a piece of pepperoni. "Not as well as hoped." He shook his head at the bite he had taken and tossed the box. Wrong one again. "No matter what I do, I can't get into Arkham without getting a man on the inside first. And as you know, that takes time…" He cursed and threw another box.

"I see. And you want a quicker option."

"Of course, you know my fuse is short. Even with the 300 prisoners we scored from Gotham City Prison, we are still outnumbered by the Arkham staff. They've really stepped up their game since we sprung their trap two years ago."

Johnny was about to nod in understanding, when there was a knock at the door. "Who could that be at this hour?" Asked J, in a fake-annoyed voice.

"Should I let them in sir?" Asked Johnny. He noticed for the first time that J was in quite a disarray. Should visitors see him like this? He wore only white boxers with little red printed hearts on them, his hair was greasy and overgrown, his eyes looked sunken in, and he noticed the fresh wounds on his arms. He knew J cut, and he knew Harley did too. Maybe they were in sinc as usual. Together in pain… even when one was away.

J nodded, tossing another box.

Before He could open the door it burst open itself and wacked him in the head. J stood up, reaching for his pistol. But he realized it wasn't near him… He had been careless.

A red haired beauty had one of his henchies by the neck, the henchie was a dark shade of purple, and gasping for air.

The green clad woman dropped him, and said "Thanks bellboy." She leaned against the doorframe and took in her surroundings with judgmental eyes.

"Kinky place you got here, _Puddin'._ " She laughed, and swatted the air. "A little ripe though." The henchie beneath her gasped and choked out a laugh. "Get it boss? Ripe. Ripe, says the plant lady! Ha!" J grabbed his golden knife from the ground, intending to throw it at the mouthy hench, but Ivy wagged her finger back and forth as if telling him not to. The henchie began to choke, as if Ivys hand still clenched his neck, but it did not. Ivy continued to wag her finger, and as if the plant rising from the henchies mouth was mimicking her fingers motion it round its way up a good foot out of his mouth before anyone could comprehend what was going on, the plant snapped back towards his mouth and the tip of it lassoed his tongue and with a sickening _riiiiiiiiip_ and gurgle, his tongue was flung out and the green plant dripped with blood. The henchie fell over with a thud. "Don't your thugs know the joke isn't funny if you have to explain it?" She asked, walking into the room now. J and Ivy had a long yet unspoken history… Or more of a rivalry. Harls quite often bounced between the two. J, a mortal man, twisted, but still mortal, was wise enough to be cautious around a person of special gifts. He crossed his arms, resentfully. "What do you want, ginger?"

Ivy snorted. "I came to check on your punching-bag, oh I mean girlfriend." J's eyes flashed in anger but he didn't respond.

"She doesn't usually go this long without running to me, like a frightened kitten, sobbing about you tossing her out a window or some such nonsense." Ivy twisted a red curl absently with her finger, she didn't have to look to know she had pricked J where it hurt.

"She's with me now." Growled J. "She's happy."

Ivy rolled her eyes. "Well then where is she, bonzo?"

"There was an accident-"

"Whats with the pizza?" She asked, kicking a thrown box open with her toe.

J slicked his hair back, annoyed, and inhaled sharply.

"He's trying to find the pizza miss Quinn always orders." Johnny answered, seeing J was trying to compose himself. He held his mouth after though, checking if his tongue was still there. It was. But Ivy noticed his flinch and winked.

"I'll ask one more time, Pennywise." Ivy marched closer to The Joker. They scowled into each others faces. "Where. Is. Harley?"

A war raged in J's eyes. Something won and he blurted: "She's back in Arkham."

"WHAT?!"

Ivys rage was white hot, and she didn't know where to go with it.

"AND YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN HER OUT YET?"

J's anger flared too. "I'M WORKING ON IT, BITCH!"

They both breathed deeply and scowled at each other. Volumes of judgement were spoken between the two in the silence of the private room. Ivy finally turned away from him, thinking.

"I'll make a deal with you, clown."

J just stared at her.

"Whoever busts Harley out first GETS Harley for themselves. For keeps."

"NO!" Growled J, his fists clenched tight. The muscles in his body taut with anger. "She's mine!"

"If I get her first, she will be mine, and you will be turned into fertilizer for my nepenthes."

She turned to leave, but then paused, as if remembering something. "Oh and the Pizza she orders is from Vinnies Pizzeria, and it aint local. Gotta get that shit from Jersey." The door slammed, and she was gone.


	10. Spring Time

**Hey Fam! Hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Everything is starting to unfold… Probably about three more updates? Let me know if you want more.**

 **Thanks again for the support.**

 **Xoxo**

 **mads**

"I am happy to inform you, Miss Harleen, that after you've been under a few more weeks surveillance you should be able to file for sanity and we have a chance to discuss your release." The lady said this without the least pleasure in her voice. She wore a puke green lady suit and her hairline seemed to be receding. Harley almost laughed when she thought to herself: _Maybe her hairline is receding because she pulls it back everyday into that slick knot behind her head._ She pretended to cough to keep from giggling to herself, and replied, "Really? I'm really improving enough?"

The doctor looked at her over her reflective spectacles that were resting precariously on her nose. "Well, if you have been telling us the truth about what you remember, then yes." She didn't sound like she believed Harley was being truthful. "If you did indeed fall into the river by accident, and the Bat delivered you here himself, then you should be in the clear."

Harley nodded sincerely.

"The only concern is that you avoid relations with that felon clown."

Harley fought to keep the anger from her face.

"Any kind of interaction with him will prove to us you can't be on your own, and should be readmitted." The lady sipped her coffee through her thin lips.

Harley fiddled with the chain on her handcuffs and nodded solemnly. "Mistah J and I are… sadly… *sniff sniff*... over."

Dr. Hopinski snorted, unfooled.

"How unfortunate." Remorse missing from her tone."Is there anyone else we could place you in the care of until you are stable?" Dr. Hops typed something into her computer, probably looking up Harleys file. Harley looked at her, and nodded quickly, the idea coming to her.

"Oh yes, actually! My dear friend, Ivy! She lives in Gotham, she would have me-"

"Yes, yes, we know who she is." The lady squinted at her screen as if reading from it as she spoke. "But unfortunately miss Isely turned herself in this morning."

Harley's eyes widened. She hadn't expected that. "W-what? What for?"

Dr. Hops seemed somewhat pleased at Harley's surprise.

"Yes, she felt guilty of a crime she was involved with. Something about feeding some climate change deniers to her plants."

Harley laughed, but when Dr. Hops eyed her sharply she turned it into a cough again.

"Not sure where we will place you after release... Well, we will cross the bridge when we come to it. You are dismissed miss Harleen." She motioned to the door and Harley rose and left.

Later that night, after the graveyard shift guards had patrolled the hallways, there was a tap on the glass of Harley's cell. Harley had been sitting on her cot, sipping tea from a bright pink mug. The letter J was carved into its side and encircled with a heart. In her other hand she held a trashy romance novel. She jumped at the sudden noise, dripping coffee on her orange prison garb.

"Aw shit." She mumbled, and dabbed at the spill with her blanket.

"Psssst." Ivy was at her window, looking around the hallway in her paranoia. "Sweet pea, get your little ass over here." She hissed through the glass.

Harley ran to the window and placed her palms on the glass. "Ivy! They told me you turned yourself in. Why on earth would you do such a thing?" her breath fogged up the glass a bit when she spoke.

"I came to spring you, silly. What do you think? Is orange my color?" She spun around, modeling her own inmate uniform. Harley laughed, she had missed her old friend.

"Of course, red. But I like the green better."

There was a noise at the end of the hall. Ivy ducked back down into the shadow of the wall. "I'm coming up with a plan to get you out, I have a rather stealthy friend… You remember Selena, don't you?" Asked Ivy, only her face's silhouette visible in the dim light.

"But, Ives they are letting me go soon. I'm not in here on any charges, just on rehabilitation." She wanted to reach through the glass and touch her brave rescuers shoulder. Ivy's face fell. "You mean I did all this for nothing?" Ivy asked, pain in her voice.

"Not for nothing, red. I do need you. I thought Mr. J would have gotten me by now…" Her words failed her as emotions sprung to the surface. "He's the one who put me here, afterall…" She choked up. _But I remember now, Puddin'. I do._

"Yeah, I know, I talked to bozo two nights ago." She sounded annoyed, just like she always did when The Joker was the conversation topic.

"You what?!" Harley screeched.

"Keep your voice down!" Hissed Ivy, preparing to bolt if necessary.

"What did he say? Why hasn't he come?" Harley's heart quickened, waiting for answers.

Ivy sighed and leaned her forehead to the glass before replying. "You know how he is Harls…" She shrugged, "He doesn't know how to take one for the team. I'm the one who is here… I risked everything for you, and I'd do it again. You're worth it."

Harley backed away from the glass. "He wasn't even planning on getting me out?"

"C'mon Harls, of course he was. But I beat him to the chase." Ivy reached for her, as if to pull her closer but the glass prevented her hand from getting far.

"I had heard through the grapevine that you were in some sort of trouble. So I went to check on you, only to find he had sent you here."

Harley whimpered, "B-but… I saw on the news… He sprung the prison. The message was for me…"

"Harley, forget him. We can get out of here together. I'll take care of you…" Ivys hands palmed the glass now. "Please."

"You always say all the things I wish he would say, red." Tears were running down her cheeks, Ivy could see them glisten in the distance.

"Harley. He will never be what you need." She was getting impatient. Footsteps could be heard in the outer hall.

"Lets get out of here, flower."

Harley shook her head.

"I made the sacrifice he wouldn't. In order to save you."

Harley just shook her head numbly.

"Who's that talking?" The night guard was opening the hallways doors.

"Dammit. Be a good little seed. I'll be in touch." Ivy whispered, and dashed back into the shadows.

Harley sank into herself in the corner of her cell, digging her nails into her wrist painfully.

 _He loves me._

 _Then why did he leave you here?_

 _He loves me._

 _Then he would be here by now._

 _I'm sorry I forgot, Puddin'... I'm so sorry…_

Harley was found the next morning, in the corner of her cell. Dried blood crusted her arms and hands, and purple puncture wounds spotted her porcelain skin.

 **Hop's office the next day...**

"What is the meaning of this?" Asked the rather uncaring Dr. Hops.

Harley stared at the tiled flooring, numbness eating her. Dr. Hops office smelled like old farts. And she couldn't even laugh about it. Laughing… She wanted to laugh. They laughed together before, her and J. Maybe if she could laugh he would hear… forgive her for forgetting. But she couldn't.

"I'm sorry, doctor." Her voice wasn't her own. It sounded like her old self. The self she had shed years ago when J had freed her…

"Sorry? Well I don't mind. It's _you_ who is paying the price."

Harley looked up at her finally, knowing what was coming. She shrank into the cold hard metal the chair, wishing she could disappear.

"I just need you to tell me what triggered this act of self violence, Harleen." There was almost sympathy in the doctor's voice.

Harley search her numb brain for some sort of excuse. "I had a b-bad dream.." Her wrists throbbed.

"A nightmare?" The doc leaned back into her comfy rollie chair, her fingers tapping the armrests rhythmically. She didn't look like she was buying the inmates excuse.

Harley nodded, not looking at her.

"What happened in this dream of yours?"

Harley didn't want to make something up. She was tired. "I can't remember."

The doctor sighed, frustrated. "Well then I'm afraid I have to issue you solitary time."

Harley's heart raced. "No!"

The lady seemed pleased to have caused a reaction. She stood up, and sort of paced haphazardly (obviously trying to play something off casually. The space was a bit cramped for pacing, as she must have noticed, because she eventually settled for leaning against the desk. Her plump plaid clad bottom pressed against the dark wood, where Harley had been staring blankly. Not fancying the idea of staring at the lady doc's girth, Harley met the stare of her opposer.

"Of course it wouldn't be fair of me to leave you with one option…" Said the woman, in a mocking tone. This was obviously just a game to her.

"Oh it wouldn't?" Harley retorted, feeling played. If she wasn't in a straight jacket right now she would have crossed her arms and huffed.

"Your other option is to agree to have excessive testing done…" Dr. Hops beedy eyes snuck a glance at her, as if checking to see how her words had settled in Harley's mind. But there was no answer, just a chaotically numb stare.

The doc pursed her lips and folded her hands together, as if she was thinking patiently. Harley had the sudden urge to scream. Being jacketed always made her nerves spike. She despised being trapped like this. At least in her cell she was free to move her arms. Jackets even made breathing uncomfortable. An angry tear ran down her cheek and clung to her jaw before hitting the rough canvas that enveloped her body.

"Harleen, I'm going to need you to verbally acknowledge what I am saying to you. Which option do you prefer?" The doc twiddled her thumbs impatiently, waiting.

Harley looked up at the cracked ceiling and replied in a hard tone, "Experiment away." _I'm just a big blubbering heap of emotional and psychological damage. How could I get worse?_ She thought. She bit her cheek, the warm blood in her mouth was comforting. Like hot tears, only less betraying to the stoic look she was going for.

"Excellent." The doctor seemed pleased. "I'll have you transferred to medical immediately."

The steel door opened and Dr. Hops raised her arm, gesturing to the exit, as if she were a guardian angel releasing her kin into the graces of heaven.

…

"Well, well, well. Look who fell into hell." The voice was familiar, and chilled her to the core. And not in the good kind of way. The room was too bright, and Harley couldn't see through blinding veil of light. They had left the dank hallways which held the inmates, and were now in what smelled like a hospital or clinic. As Harley's eyes adjusted she saw that it _was_ a hospital room… with some oddities. There was an electric chair in one corner, baths and clear submersion tanks in another and some of the medical utensils laid out on trays seemed more like torture devices. After examining the room, Harley found the source of the familiar voice. He was leaning against one of the hospital beds, with his hands crossed in front of himself casually.

"Hello. I am Dr. Crane."

…

Ivy sat in her cell and stared at her reflection in the glass window that barred her from the world. She was staring particularly at her tattoos. The plant life that decorated every inch of her peaked out of her inmate garb. She missed her plants.

She was snapped from her trance when she saw two guards escorting a jacketed Harley down the hallway. They were moving quickly, each guard held her elbows and her feet barely touched the ground as they passed. She wasn't even putting up a fight. _Maybe I took it too far last night. She always gets so fucked up about that clown._ Ivy hit the glass. "Harley!"

She didn't hear. And they were already well off down the hall. _You really barked up the wrong tree this time Ives._

…

"Ahh not again." Said J, as he pressed his foot to the brake of the GCPD car. His face fell as he realized what the dark shape in front of the infamous Arkham gate was. The bat mobile.

"All units: Fucking halt." J ordered, and the cars following him all slammed on their brakes, and fell into place on both sides of their ring leaders car.

A louder than hell deep vocaled voice erupted from the batmobile.

"Heard you stole my friends cars. You're getting sloppy, Buster." An actual chuckle followed the remark from Batman.

J gripped the steering wheel and growled through his sparkly teeth.

"This is the third time this week you've managed to get my attention. If you wanted to play you could have just called."

Johnny cleared his throat in the seat next to J, trying to quelch the laugh that was trying to rise. If there was one thing J hated it was when Batsy joked.

J smoothed back his hair and in one swift motion, whisked open the door, lifted himself lightly from the car and started walking toward the batmobile.

Guns raised behind The Joker, ready to defend him.

"All the kings horses and all the kings men…" Sang Batman. J whipped off his jacket and threw it to the ground, effectively closing the distance between him and the black tank.

"Why are you so hung up on that basketcase, old sport?"

Joker got to what he thought was the door of the car and yanked on the handle. It didn't budge.

"Is it cause she's blonde?"

Joker yelled and banged his head on the tinted window in frustration.

"Because, I'm sort of a playboy myself, and I know loooots of blonde women who have loose morals."

J leaped onto the "hood" of the car, a bit unsteadily, and faced his men. "Light him up boys! Lets make this bat fly!"

Gunfire blasted this way and that, and J, realizing his mistake huddled up in mock terror at the bullets ricocheting off the car like ping pong balls and then laughed louder and harder than he had in months.

…

Guards were running down the hallways. Not a usual occurrence. They usually were on orders to appear calm for the inmates were supposedly easily triggered by excitement. Ivy was worried. Had Selena been caught? Was her plan for shit?

Eventually the hustle and bustle was centered near the front of the asylum and the halls were again quiet.

After a few minutes there was a noise above Ivy, in the ceiling. Ivy looked up. _Maybe the plumbing in this place is loud? It is like a billion years old._ Ivy turned her attention back to the window, and was startled to see a black lanky silhouette was hanging, upsidedown, against the glass.

Ivy laughed. It was Selena. She ran to glass.

"You weird little minx lady! Who do you think you are? Spiderman?" Catwoman laughed and dropped to the ground in a crouch.

"Ew, and jizz web out of my hands? No thank you." She grimaced under her mask in disgust and made the spidey hand gesture.

"Well do you want to get out of here or what?" Asked the woman in black, with her hand on her hip. "Of course I do, kitty."

"Wake up and smell the flowers, Ives, it's "spring time"." Said Selena, pointing to the open vent in the right hand corner of her cell's ceiling.

"Oh barf. You sound like a 30s detective comic when you make puns like that." Sighed Ivy, rolling her eyes and making her way to the vent.

"What about, Harley?" Asked Ivy, worry in her voice.

"Don't sweat it, I made sure there was a vent in your crush's new cell." Catwoman leaped up and disappeared into the vent she had came from, and Ivy could hear her reenter as she stood on her cot and stuck her head into her own vent.

"I've been having a fit in my cell all day because I heard her screaming in medical. She has a set of lungs that kid, I'll tell ya." Ivys voice amplified throughout the vents and echoed in all directions.

"You would know wouldn't you." Chuckled Selena, between grunts as she shuffled herself through the tight space.

Ivy was quiet, and Selena noticed.

"I'm sure they've tried they're hardest to fuck our girl up. But she's resilient. Plus you can't fuck anyone up if they are already as fucked as they come." Selena said, attempting to ease Ivys fear.

In the distance muffled sirens and gunfire could be heard.

"What's going on out there? It sounds like doomsday outside." Asked Ivey.

"Oh um… I hired someone to cause a distraction. Hope you don't mind. It's impossible to get in here with all these uniforms and I.D. badges everywhere." The air felt thin, and both women were sweating.

"Well I don't mind but who did you hire? I don't take you for the type to have a squad." Ivy said, lightly.

"I don't have a squad, just a friend who owes me a few favors." Ivy could tell Selena was smiling when she said that.

"Oh my god, you're still using the poor Wayne boy aren't you?" Ivy gasped, teasing her.

"You make it sound so dirty."

"It is dirty, and I know dirt, I live in it."

"This is us."

They had come to a rather large vent, and white tile could be seen through the slats. The Infermary.

Soft crying could be heard below them, but they couldn't see where it was coming from. They'd have to get down in order to find her. But before they could make a move they heard another voice.

"Embrace the fear, Harleen." Crane. "Let it consume you."

Ivy grabbed Cats arm and whispered in a hushed but urgent voice. "They're hurting her."

"IT'S NOT REAL!" Harley's voice, but it sounded higher pitched and horse. "NOTHING CAN KILL HIM!" Her scream turned into more choked sobbing.

Ivy moved toward the vent and lifted it.

"Wait, let's go together. We can take this pansy ass doc no problem, but we have to work together." Said Selena, not blinded by anger the way Ivy was.

Ivy nodded, fire in her eyes.

 **To Be Continued...**


	11. Bad Trip

**Hi all, this is the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who has been supportive and followed my story. I hope you come back for more. (Got a few new ideas)**

 **xoxo mads**

Harley could see… but her vision was blurry and everything looked distorted. What once had been Dr. Cranes face now twisted into a black mask. It resembled that of batman's mask, but its eyes glew red and the bulk of him was about three times bigger than the original Batman. The brute raised its arm, and revealed it was holding the head of The Joker. In the giant's fist, J's head looked to be the size of a tennis ball. The purple clad body of the joker swung limply in the iron fist of the black giant, and blood poured from the cracking skull, and poured like crimson rain onto the white tile. She was strapped to something… No! No! Something was eating her arms! Two white snakes glared up at her with their black pits for eyes as her arms disappeared into their thick bodies. She felt their muscles slowly crush the bones in her hands and forearms. The Bat brute was laughing in a deep gurgle while he swung J around like a puppet by his bleeding head. Harley ceased her shrieking when she realized her lovers mouth was moving in attempt to speak. She tried to get free and so she could go to him… listen to him… But the snakes were all the way up to her shoulders now, her arms were just shattered bone wrapped in weak muscle.

"PLEASE LET ME HEAR HIM!" Her voice cracked in pain when the bones in her shoulders broke. She sobbed, and turned her head upwards, unable to look at the dying man in the brutes hand. Above her was a black shape, crawling across the sky…ceiling? It's many legs reached to her.

"KILL ME!" Was it her screaming?

The spider swooped down on her and its pinchers clicked together just inches from her face, as she squirmed. Harley wished it would take out her eyes so she could stop witnessing the love of her life dying. Then she heard it. Bat Brute was holding the puppet inches from her face. J choked out: "Would you…" Before his eyes rolled back into his head and with a sickening sound the fingers of the Bat forced his skull to cave in on itself.

"-LIVE FOR ME! LIVE FOR ME!" Harley finished J's silenced sentence.

The black shape had ahold of her hair and was pulling her up out of the snakes mouths. Harley felt herself lifted. And she swung like a puppet. Just like he had.

…

"Yeow!" Shrieked Catwoman, when Harley, in her delusional state, bit the arm that was hauling her up into the vent. "Jesus, Harley." She hissed, and yanked her up quickly with her other arm. "You won't eat me too Mrs. Spider!" Cried a limp and blubbery Harley. Cat rolled her eyes and hollered to Ivy. "Would you mind hurrying it up? You're girlfriend is hard to wrangle!"

Ivy was in the middle of surrounding the infamous Doctor Crane in thick black thorns. "You think it's fun to torture poor little creatures do you?" She jeered as Crow tried to reach his hand (bloodying it) out through the wall of thorns that were slowly closing in on him. "Well how do you like it, huh?" She asked, circling him, the thorns now so thick and tightly knit that he was struggling to breathe. "How about we see what this fear medicine does to someone who is _already_ a coward." She said, casually as she picked up the shot that had been knocked to the floor in their struggle. The liquid looked like thick puss, with a slight purple glaze on top. Ivy flicked the small cylinder and few drops of the stuff oozed and dripped off the unusually large needle. "I've always wanted to do that, you always see nurses and docs do that on television." She chuckled.

"IVY C'MON!" Shouted Cat, her face contorting in pain as she tried to keep Harley tucked up in the vent, with her back pressed against the hole in the ceiling. Her clawed hands twisted upwards to hold herself in place.

"This might hurt a bit, Nurse Ratchet." Snarled Ivy, as she gripped the screaming and writhing mans arm that stuck out, and stabbed the needle into his flesh, successfully emptying the fear serum into its creator.

"NOT THE WHOLE THING WOMAN ARE YOU CRAZY?!" A muffled voice hollered from within the thorns as Ivy disappeared into the vents with her girls.

 **...**

"OOOooo ha! Hahahaha… oo.." The clown looked up and smiled wanly at his tormentor. The real Bat. His cop uniform was tattered and mostly missing. This fight had been a doozy, as it usually was when Joker was running out of tricks to pull out from under his sleeve.

"Give up yet?" Asked Bats.

"Go? Now? But we're having so much fun!" Answered J as he tried to get to his feet. His knees wobbled and gave out. All his men had scattered after the _real_ GOPD showed up. It was just The Joker and Batman, as The Joker would usually prefer (when the main goal was to harass Batman)... until it wasn't.

"Stop them!" Came a shout from behind the two brawling men. A guard was standing in the gateway and pointing after two (three?) fleeing shapes. One, Batman noticed immediately as Selena Kyle. The other was Ivy, who he didn't recognize right away because she wasn't in her usual (rather revealing) garb. She was moving quite a bit slower than than Cat because she was dragging a mid-tantrum Harley Quinn.

"Stop! I don't want to go anywhere with you, you plant goblin!" Harley tried to chomp on Ivy's hand, but Ivy, knowing Harley, saw it coming and pulled it away.

"Goblin? What the fuck. You are having one _baaaad_ trip, flower."

Harley tried to crawl away on her hands and knees. Ivy dove after her. "Ohhh no you don't!"

Catwoman proceeded to hang from her whip and swing on the rickety gate. As it swung wide, and passed Batman she whispered, "How's it hangin' B-man?"

"Nice one." Joker chuckled. Batman looked at the still kneeling Joker in surprise. "Get it? Cause she was hanging…" Batman swung at him and J leaned so far back in dodging it that he looked like he was recovering from a rock concert power-slide. "OOOOooo! Always taking shots from people that just don't get the joke." "tisked" the Joker, recovering himself and slicking his hair back habitually. He was eyeing the weird Harley situation from a distance. He wanted to run to her and get her… but she didn't seem to be seeing who her friends were properly.

"I _get_ the joke, I just didn't find it funny." Grummbled Bats, who was watching his own woman as she lowered herself gracefully from the gate.

"Excuse me, Batman?" Came a mega-phoned voice from the direction of the cop cars. All heads turned to the stunned cop spectators. "What are your orders?" The nervous donut eater asked.

"Stand down. I'll handle the escapees from here." Said Batman, looking like an annoyed father as he pulled his cuffs off his belt. Car doors were heard slamming in the distance as the cops departed. Batman swiped at one of J's hands, trying to cuff it and of course Joker had pulled it away too quickly, saying, "Too slow." A genuine smile stretched across his face and he chuckled.

"Bats haven't you had enough fun for one night?" Asked Selena, who had wound herself between the kneeling clown and the tall shadow.

"Yeah, haven't you?-" Asked J, but was kicked in the throat absent mindedly by Cat. Her hand touched his masked cheek. Batman stiffened at her touch but did not pull away. "Joker's been keeping me up for weeks, Selena." His brow furrowed. "I need to put him behind bars. I'm sick of him." He almost whined.

"Awww, baby, you know that isn't about you." She purred. "He's just tyna get back with his puddin'." She booped her finger on his nose. "I'm sure he will be a good little circus freak once he is with her. Won't you, Buster?" She didn't look back at the clown, she was having a staring contest of sorts with Bruce.

But J nodded, a little pout on his face. "I suppose… Even villians need a vacation."

The ruckus between the girls had escalated quickly. Harls was perched on Ivys shoulders, pulling at her voluptuous curls and screaming "GIVE ME BACK MY POODLE HE ISN'T A WIG!" Ivy winced in pain and roller her eyes in annoyance. "YOU'RE HAVING A BAD TRIP, KID!" She said, yanking Harley's hands off her hair and effectively pulling her over her messy fiery hair and body checking her to the street in front of them.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, BITCH?" Shouted a now livid Joker. He marched forwards after regaining his balance. Shock and fear flashed across Ivy's face as she realized what she had done. Both Ivy and J knelt to the ground and reached for Harley, who stared at them in terror as if she was watching nothingness closing in on her, threatening to swallow her whole. Her eyes welled with tears, and she hugged her knees. Ivy stopped before fully extending her arm to Harley. She didn't want to be like J who got her to comply by frightening her. She waited.

"Don't hurt me anymore… I only blew ya so you'd help me with my statistics class..." Blubbered Harley, her tears wetting the orange fabric of her pants where her cheeks pressed. "Tell your jock friends this is a mistake Steve please…" she looked from Ivy to J. J was also frozen, confusion plain on his face. Harley was obviously reliving some predatory memory.

"Poor baby has always been hurt by men… like most beautiful things." Murmured Ivy, emotion thick in her voice.

"She's not one of your plants, you know." Hissed Joker, his glance at her actually apologetic. He knew how easy it was to love this woman, and he didn't blame her for it… how was it his fault she always got hurt anyway? She always had _asked_ him for pain… "I'm not like the boys in her frat or her daddy's golf buddies you have taken her for granted." Hissed J, insulted by Iveys implications.

"No." Growled Ivy. "You're worse."

Ivy felt her heart break as she realized the truth.

"She loves you."

J touched Harley's knee with his hand gently, unable to meet Ivy's charged gaze.

"Harls…" He pleaded.

Ivy recoiled her own hand. She knew she was beaten.

"You won't ever deserve this angel." Her words stung him like acid. The sting swam deep through his rough exterior because he knew in his fucked up heart that it was true.

"You're going to rot in hell for what you've done to her… for what you continue to do to her."

A tear rolled down the clown princes cheek. The first to escape his eyes in many years.

Harley didn't flinch when his hand remained on her knee.

Ivy leaned in and kissed Harley's head, which was bobbing as she weakly sobbed.

"I love you, flower." Whispered Ivey, her voice cracking slightly. "I'll catch you the next time he pushes you off a building." She added, lightly. Ivy stood up and walked past the two dark shadows who had been watching the interaction so quietly all had forgotten they had been standing there.

"Goodbye Steve..." Sobbed Harley,waving at Ivy. J wiped his tear and pulled her into his arms. She looked up at him in sheer wonder and touched his face.

"Are you the devil?"

He almost shed another tear, but blinked it back. He stood up with her cradled to his chest. He dared Bats with his eyes to tell him no. Bruce and him exchanged a silent truce to excuse each other from rivalry for the sake of their women.

Selena locked her fingers with Bruce's, falling more in love with him in the moment of graciousness.

J walked with Harley in his arms as Bats and Cat mooned over each other. The beauty in his arms stirred, startled by the movement of him lifting her.

"C'mon baby." He said, tucking a pink tipped strand of hair.

"Let's go home."


End file.
